this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2026
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[–] TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (3 children)

step one: Isolate the gene for penis length.

Step two: discern if the gene needs to be copied or trimmed to cause enlargement

step three: using CRISPR gene editing, formulate the necessary edits and then bioengineer a retrovirus delivery method.

step four: make sure that the panel for FDA approval is all men and/or trans men (hey, if we're gonna do this there are legit G.A.C. uses!)

step five: Build a Money Bin like freakin' Scrooge McDuck to handle all the money that you're about to get.

Step six: Patent the hell out that shit.

Step seven: Profit, my bitches!!

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 1 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Things looked bleak for Joe, but they were even worse for mankind.

As Joe and Rita lay dormant, the years passed… and mankind became stupider at a frightening rate.

Some had high hopes that genetic engineering… would correct this trend in evolution.

But sadly, the greatest minds and resources… were focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections.

[–] T156@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

step one: Isolate the gene for penis length.

That does assumes that there is a dedicated gene, and that the gene is singular.

It's hardly impossible for it to be governed by multiple genes, like height is.

step three: using CRISPR gene editing, formulate the necessary edits and then bioengineer a retrovirus delivery method.

Only if it's something that can be altered later. Gene editing is not magic that can instantly transform someone if something gets flipped.

It's entirely plausible that the genes responsible might only be active at certain points in time, and after that, altering it makes the cells have different genes, but they won't do much with it.

Similar to how altering the gene responsible for how many fingers you have doesn't cause you to lose or sprout new fingers.

[–] TheStaffmaster@lemmy.world -1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Quit being a negative Nancy. Also, you need to understand that your body basically rebuilds itself every 7-8 years, so the changes wouldn't be instant by any means, just like HRT takes a few years to really kick in.

[–] DougPiranha42@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

That’s not how it works. I would have a bunch of new dicks by now if it was rebuilt every 8 years, but I am still stuck with the old one.

[–] heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 1 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

But what if it doesn’t stop growing and you get Elephantitis penis?

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 2 points 12 hours ago

Get a wheelbarrow, disability, and a whoooole Lotta weed