this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2026
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Also can confirm on the weird offshoot of Pentecostalism that is “Assembly of God.”
To this day - if you were to ask certain extra dipshit Trump-loving bigots and racists who I have known all my life who enjoyed their time at the specific “Assembly of God” church I was forced to attend as a kid, they will still swear that “speaking in tongues” is some sort of mystical God language that is legit and not silly.
It’s one of the many reasons I’m happy to say I am no longer a believer in any sort of religion.
I still respect people’s peaceful welcoming traditions and the “fellowship” that some religious people are able to kindly engage in as an indirect result of their personal religious beliefs, but for me - I think Stephen Fry put it best when he said this about God.
My sister got involved in a Pentecostal church and I became fascinated by speaking in tongues. It was such obvious bullshit, and she could never explain it ("The pastor says it's the divine spirit, bla bla bla..."). So I looked it up.
In the Bible "speaking in tongues" was like a universal translator. The Christians were preaching to a multilingual crowd. There was a mighty wind (lol) and flames appeared over the preachers' heads.
From Acts: "And at this sound the multitude came together, and they were bewildered, because each one was hearing them speak in his own language."
But now because this is a fairy tale that didn't happen, it's morphed into gabbling nonsense that no-one understands.
Speaking in tongues was a source of constant amusement for me, and probably the only thing I enjoyed about the church. "Shambala lala guu!"
Then, someone else used their Magic Bird powers to "translate".
My mom recently changed to a non-denominational church because the local Assembly of God (the church she raised me in) is somehow getting it wrong.
Her new pastor has a degree from Liberty University. I am intimately familiar with the teachings of the A/G. I honestly don't even want to know what the new church is telling her.