this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2026
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I have stockpiled an absolutely MASSIVE amounts of manure. That shit is going to be worth a fortune in the future. Every paycheck, I dump at least 10% of it into buying the freshest cow pie I can find. The neighbors hate me, but we'll see who gets the last laugh when they sell their in-laws into indentured servitude to afford a bag of my brown gold!
Doesn't it have a limited shelf life? Do you need to maintain it?
Well, I keep it fresh by urinating on it. I collect all my family's urine in a bathtub so we can have an extra sanitary bath once a week, together, and then I dump the leftover on the pile with this big crane I rigged up outta grocery carts.
I didnt know the meaning of "manure" but it became clear by the end of the paragraph