"Please Microsoft, I beg you. My penis is starting to get sores from all the sex I am having due to being unable to do any work."
this post was submitted on 03 May 2026
787 points (98.3% liked)
Programmer Humor
31232 readers
2211 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
GitHub abandoned professional developers and decided to cater for vibecoders without having the infrastructure and their greed eventually broke everything for everyone. I'm gone from that shithole. If you stay, you deserve all the downtime.
I understand it's a joke, but really isnt the entire point of git is to be able to work locally as much as you want without affecting the remote repo and vice versa
which is absolutely true until you wire your CI pipeline through it. Now it's a critical fucking deploy function for dev/stage/QA and maybe prod now with workflows.
You can run the pipelines locally. But it's complicated so it's better have your own scripts and keep the pipeline short.
Soo, don't do that?
For some reason tons of developers moved that amazing concept to depend as much on Microsoft cloud as possible for their workflows.
It used to be great before Microsoft bought it and was still great under Thomas Dohmke. As soon as he stepped down and Microsoft took over, that's when all went to shit. But developers already had their pipelines and workflows established. And any smart devs are now moving away to non-profit providers like Codeberg
Git allows me to write code as much as I want. But GitHub does more than just Git. If you don’t remember the details of the next task you need to work on and GitHub is down, that’s a problem. As a senior I spend a lot of time reviewing PRs. That’s considerably harder when GitHub is down.
Sounds dumb to be that dependent on a US platform in 2026 AD
What do you use for project management? What platform-less system are you using for that? Or are you saying to use a non-US platform? Do you have specifics.
Well couldn't you have your own self hosted "Git(hub)"?
Right? We’ve had two thousand and twenty six years since Christ walked the earth to reduce our dependency on GitHub, what are we even doing
Everyone knows we were banished from the garden of forejo after Steve made the Apple and even Jesus dying wasn't enough to let us go back.
I mean there are tons of options in that space so if it's an issue that is sorta on your business to have evaluated their dependency.
We work on an internal gitlab instance that has had 100 percent up time for like 2 years. It doesn't even have to be gitlab, there's gitea and like 10 other options.
I personally think that the industry has moved so far in the direction of cloud and saas that it's lost a lot of valuable skills and made them dependent on too much externally.
I'm the only person at my (small startup) company who has the skills to maintain a GitLab instance. Been there, done that, never fucking again. I HATE maintenance. We're probably going to migrate to some other platform since GitHub is intent on turning to shit.
In 2014 I set up GitLab for my then employer. It had to be something self hosted because of client requirements. I was apparently the only one in a company of about 200 that knew anything about Linux.
Wasn't too bad, just keeping it up to date etc. When I left in 2016 I'd just upgraded the server to ubuntu 16.04. It's probably still running that now. I know someone who is still there and they've said GitLab itself hasn't been updated since I left.
Sounds like you don't really have the skill to maintain it.
24/7 maintenance is more a hassle issue than a skill issue.
Oh fuck off. I’m not talking about the GitLab instance. Those aren’t hard. The trauma is from other stuff, but it adds a spicy flavor of stress and anxiety to all infrastructure work.
To each their own but ours didn't really require more than an hour a month at most. It's not running on cutting Edge hardware but chugs along pretty dependably. The back ups probably take the most time but even then ansible does most of the work and we bump the omnibus version once a month in off hours without issue.
It’s not as much time as it is stress, anxiety, and trauma. Being on call when shit breaks is fucking awful and my best coping strategy to date is refusing to be an infrastructure person and aggressively not giving a fuck when things are down for a day or two.
It's like "nobody ever got fired for buying IBM." Nobody ever got fired for pitching a migration to GitHub. It doesn't have to be good. Then one day it's crumbling down and people will have to learn to face consequences.
It's possible to design your devex to require an unreliable SAAS vendor for even basic tasks! If you try hard enough you can logjam your entire team!
GitHub has actions etc. a lot of people don’t build locally. They push to GitHub and it builds, tests, deployed, does checks etc
You should be able to replicate at least some of that locally. If you can't work with GitHub down for a couple of hours, then it's a poorly set up project.
Luckily we use gitlab instead of github
It also has some downtime now and then but it isn't owned by microslop which more than makes up for it
Self-hosted?
It's still a for-profit company run for the billionaire shareholder benefit and not yours. You will be exploited.
I'm still trying to work out how to do ci tests without GitHub actions or a credit card or self hosting.
The gitlab pipeline stuff is pretty good, and the free plan comes with a decent amount of compute, i assume no credit card is needed though i haven't used it in any private projects so i'm not certain
I don’t really get this joke as I’m not a developer but does it have something to do with that thing where I try to search the site and it tells me it’s getting too many requests from my IP, even though I haven’t searched it in a month?
GitHub is where a lot of companies store their source code, so many software development workflows require it to be available. For a while it had fantastic uptime, but since Microslop started shoving vibe coded updates its reliability has cratered.
GitHub manages not one, but TWO nines of availability.
Sometimes both nines are even in the front!
It's reliability was already not super great before the vibe coding hit.
It's mostly caused by them trying to migrate complicated legacy systems to azure. This type of work is already fraught with danger.
The vibe code just supercharges an already risky endeavor. The LLM code could be perfectly correct but the more dynamic a complicated system the more difficult it becomes to judge side effects of any one change.
The speed of change also means that experts in particular areas of the code base may find their mental model of the system to be out of date and incorrect faster than ever before. This is course also leads to the increased chance of mistakes or unintended side effects.
It's been Windows 11'd and the regular patches of downtime are just one of several new productivity-loss features to be rolled out.
Next; ads.
...no, wait, that's already happened.
Next; sponsors.
...actually, wait, that was kind of done.
Next; a bloat UI front-end to minimise the confusing layout. Subscription to opt out.
Nah, next is replacing all UI with a copilot prompt that always shits on your code and guilt-trips you when you try to look up some repo instead of just asking it to vibecode it for you.
codeberg was down a few times in the past days, but i feel like its got more uptime than github atp
At least codeberg isn't a billion dollar company
My self hosted gitlab instance has better uptime over the last 12 months than a billion-dollar SAAS product 🤣