this post was submitted on 29 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Quacksalber@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Exactly as republicans expect you to.

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not until they've squeezed every last cent out of you they can with the least investment in maintaining your health possible. Much like any other common, readily-replaceable piece of equipment at your workplace.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

no, not until they use you as cannon fodder for the military, and zionism.

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

As a 34 year old, I welcome death. You mean I still need to do this for 35 more years??!! Fucking hell! Why do people like bringing children into this hellscape?

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[–] Asafum@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

Literally.

Homemade nitrogen asphyxiation device is my retirement plan.

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Isn't that the method used in all those state death penalty executions that kept making the news several years back for not going as smoothly as they claimed it would? You know, the method they switched to when the only manufacturer of the one of the drugs needed for the normal method started refusing to sell it to the USA?

Funny how there's been no news about them of late, considering the current political environment... 🙄

[–] Asafum@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't believe so, it's the method I've heard of that the "suicide pods" use in other countries unless that's the same thing. Supposedly your body starts freaking out when there's a buildup of CO2, so if I can displace that with nitrogen and still vent out the CO2 then it should work fine.

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah, I'm aware (for similar reasons). The description I read in one article at the time sure made it sound very similar, though. Any idea what they're doing if not that?

[–] Asafum@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No idea what they'd be using, but since it was for executions in the US I wouldn't for one second doubt it was a shitty quality device from a private company that was just taking in tax dollars and to hell with the outcome for the person in it. :/

[–] InputZero@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's exactly what happened. The supplier cut corners and the device didn't flush the CO2 away resulting in an agonizing death suffocating on CO2. They also didn't supply enough nitrogen and just used whatever tank they could procure from a welding supply store.

[–] Asafum@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

It's sad that I can know what happened without even looking it up... God this country sucks

[–] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A nice hike into the remote backcountry culminating in watching a sunset from somewhere scenic while enjoying some whiskey and a last PBR, then a shot of the ol’ .44 is my plan. Saves someone the trouble of cleaning up the mess, the hassle of having to hike up there to spread my ashes, and the coyotes get a free meal. It’s a win for everyone.

[–] plyth@feddit.org 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

remote backcountry

Good luck traveling with a .44 in a world full of surveilance.

[–] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 3 points 1 month ago

The few benefits of living in Idaho are that we’ve still got millions of acres of roadless, primitive wilderness and carrying guns is so normalized people grocery shop strapped like they’re expecting Billy the Kid to come for them. They are trying to parcel out our wildlands to the oligarchs and I expect MAGA will increasingly be coming for the guns of their enemies.

[–] Reginald_T_Biter@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Haha yeah totally like. At this rate we've no hope of fat retirement payments at all and even then mid 70s before we get them.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have saved a bunch of pills, like bottles and bottles, because I came off a medication but still let it be renewed every time. I'm ready for whenever I think it's time.

[–] GhostFace@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hope you know what you're taking. Taking random pills is a good way to make yourself sick and miserable but fail at actually dying.

[–] mrodri89@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 month ago

Omg ive also done this research. 🧐

[–] osanna@lemmy.vg 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wait, yall have retirement plans??

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 month ago (5 children)
[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This will take a shit long time... unless you do something about it. You could ask for help...but you could also jump at any opportunity.

[–] HasturInYellow@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

The famines and heat waves are coming. Death will abound. Free for the taking.

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[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

The goal is to get hurt on the job bad enough for a significant payout but not so bad that im in constant pain for the rest of my life.

[–] jlow@slrpnk.net 16 points 1 month ago (7 children)

So my slop-radar dings this one but the only things I can see are the nonsensical third tube on the lower left and the left crane just floats in the air. I hate this.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

I have the exact same feeling and those are the exact same things i found...... theres also the lefts guys pants where theres a line that just gets a bit blurry or something?

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[–] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 month ago

Entitled 70 year olds want to "retire" when they could be earning value for shareholders till the hour of their deaths.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Rent seek, but not social safety net like a filthy parasite. There's a distinction and it's important in America. Have you earned the right to take other's labor? /s

I worked with a guy always said 6ft under was his plan for retirement he knew already funny guy

[–] undergroundoverground@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Tbf, that is the most cost effective solution for our capitalist overlords.

[–] YoureHotCupCake@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not if you choose to do a Luigi on your way out.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 9 points 1 month ago

Bring glory to your ancestors, comrade.

[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Not if you do it on a data center construction site, make it look like a homicide, and stop the construction until the investigation completes.

[–] orlyowl@piefed.ca 6 points 1 month ago

2MEIRL4MEIRL

[–] pno2nr@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

...at work.

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've been thinking about putting a nice poster or painting on my ceiling, so when I die at my desk if I happen to slump backward at least a nice poster will be the last thing I see.

[–] WhoIzDisIz@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago

Unless you fall forward over your desk. Worry not, though - there's always the possibility of going with an "out of body experience."

[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I have worked hard my whole life raising a family. There is no way my meager retirement plus social security (if it exists when I retire) will be able to support me with rising costs. That is if I don't catch cancer or have some other malady. Then I am totally screwed and would be homeless until I die.

[–] Raglesnarf@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I can't WAIT to retire!!!! 😀

[–] leaveWitX@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Death is 😴,i don't care when i was old.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

hell dying aint cheap either

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I'll take on a metric fuckton of debt and blow it all on having fun and then die so I can stick the bill to the man

[–] Fishnoodle@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Suicide or homicide!

[–] Pudutr0n@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Pretty infallible.

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