this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 177 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No no, this makes sense, you literally need to cheat.

[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago

It works for the crooks in charge.

But the people paying for these kind of alpha boot camps aren't ever going to be in that position. They'll just put on blinders and "hustle" like a good little worker.

[–] dumples@piefed.social 145 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] sjmarf@sh.itjust.works 90 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] cmoney@lemmy.world 41 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] sjmarf@sh.itjust.works 62 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

The FIDE regulations dictate that a player who declines en passant must drop a brick on their pipi. A brick is kept nearby for such eventualities

Spoilerhttps://www.reddit.com/r/AnarchyChess/comments/mzrx2o/my_workout_punishments_for_chess_blunders/

[–] cmoney@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I figured it was something like that.

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[–] dalekcaan@feddit.nl 9 points 2 weeks ago

We hit that bullseye and the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards.

Checkmate.

[–] Phantaloons@piefed.zip 5 points 2 weeks ago

your buddy vapes over the game board

"I activate fog of war"

[–] nymnympseudonym@piefed.social 52 points 2 weeks ago

But that is how CEO assholes work (or try to until they can't get away with it)

Source: worked with nearly a dozen CEOs of various size companies

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 44 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

To be fair, though, if you were in a game of chess where you could make 10 moves for every one move your opponent makes, it would be really easy to win that game of chess.

[–] Pringles@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 weeks ago

The Scholar’s mate school of business.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

Chess with flash windows.

I feel so fucking dirty for saying those words. Good god.

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 2 weeks ago

But he's correct. If you're rich enough you can bribe all the seconds, then you can make extra moves and irregular moves. Heck, you can just have all the seconds declare you victor.

For extra points, hire guys with guns to make sure everyone at the tournament agrees with your rules.

This is the state of modern neoliberal capitalism from the view of billionaire oligarchs and multi-national conglomerate corporations.

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 28 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I don't want to ruin this meme, but he's saying a real thing in a confusing way. You have to think 10 moves ahead of your opponent and also the repercussions of each move at every step.

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 47 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Zero points for saying it wrong, though.

“You miss every shot you take”

“The only thing we do not fear is fear itself”

“Interrupt your opponent when he is making a mistake”

[–] uberfreeza@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

"If fighting is sure to result in defeat then you must fight"

[–] Curious_Canid@piefed.ca 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

There is a wonderful cartoon book by Tom Weller called "Minims". A minim is the opposite of a maxim. So the book is full of illustrations of wisdom like "The early worm gets eaten by the bird." and "You'll catch more flies with honey than you'd care to." The book's subtitle is "Man is the only animal that wears bow ties."

(Although, I have to admit, my husky sometimes wears bow ties and he looks a lot better in them than I do.)

[–] kkj@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

Cats in bow ties also look great.

[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

No, he said a real thing in a completely factually wrong way, and that's assuming that this "entrepeneur" actually understood it correctly, which I doubt.

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[–] terranoid@lemmy.cafe 3 points 2 weeks ago

Shouldve said business is like starcraft then

[–] _chris@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Alpha in the software sense: pre-release, lots of bugs, definitely not ready for production, sale, or wide public viewing.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

And increasingly: Mostly composed of an assortment of self-reinforced hallucinations.

[–] uberfreeza@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Alpha male when full release male walks in: 😧

[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

So we can ship it tomorrow? Great I just told the investors, so we're now leagly obligated to ship it tomorrow.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I hear you can cheat at chess by sticking a vibrator in your ass.

Maybe that's what the rich CEOs are doing to win

[–] Cheems@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I keep trying but it doesn't seem to make me rich

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 3 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe you already are without realizing it yet 💖

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I gave up on playing chess. The game has become such a metaphor, such a fetish symbol for intellect, so every dude "knows how to play", but won't risk the humiliation of loss, and therefore won't play. I don't enjoy online chess, so I just don't get to play.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 12 points 2 weeks ago

Give shot chess a try. Each piece is a small shot glass.

I had loads of fun destroying my friends since I was in the chess club in grade school. And they had fun because alcohol.

Or find a park that has chess boards.

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

It's called tempo, you sub-1800ers /s

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[–] racoon@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 weeks ago

Well instead of "make" it should be "think" and it would be fine, you fool

[–] daannii@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I "know" how to play chess but when I try to play against a computer I constantly get reminded I can't move my piece there because I would be putting myself in check.

Pretty sure I've only won 2 chess games in my life. ..... Against someone at my level.

[–] underscores@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

you didn't know about the French cum sock opener? you fool ! had you known you could have forked me into giving up one of my pieces !

[–] Nalivai@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Chess isn't actually a logic game or a smarts game, it's a memory game. If you're a computer or one of those 15-people-per-generation chess brains, then yeah, you probably can logic your way into thinking enough moves ahead. If not, your only option is to remember a bunch of different plays and learn how to recognise and execute the preditermined strategies. If you try to do it your way, you will be stuck losing to a bad computer or chess club kids online

[–] Malfeasant@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

I beat my kids

at chess whenever we play.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Read between the lines: they're saying that they have to cheat to win.

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

If you told me this before, I would be winning every game of chess I played

[–] neatchee@piefed.social 8 points 2 weeks ago

Business is like Start Craft 2, you gotta raise your APM if you want to beat the Korean pros

[–] TotallyWorthLife@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

If he said "do them in your head" it would have made more sense lol

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

This explains SO much about their thinking.

[–] Avicenna@programming.dev 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

is this from Trump's book?

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

The art of the steal.

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