this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2026
184 points (93.8% liked)

Not The Onion

22012 readers
950 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

A US man who has staked the uncontested claim of having the smallest penis in the world says he has booked a procedure to enhance his member at least somewhat after soliciting the online public’s financial support for that purpose.

In a brief interview on Saturday, 38-year-old Michael Phillips described himself as “really thankful and surprised” over the GoFundMe platform users who supported his campaign for help to pay for the procedure in question.

“I … never thought anyone would care enough to help,” said Phillips, who has previously explained that the procedure should relieve him of urinary issues resulting from his being only 0.38in (0.97cm) long even when wholly tumescent. “[I am] extremely grateful.”

top 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] HazardousBanjo@lemmy.world 140 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Coming out to say you have the world's smallest penis to raise awareness and body acceptance for men with small penises is actually kinda big dick energy.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 28 points 2 weeks ago

A solid point. (Pun intended.)

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Well it's getting there

[–] YabbaDabbaDipshit@lemmy.world 49 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Idk homie ya could end up like elon

Fucked up cock with a bunch of nerds metaphorically sucking you off but never physically

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago

Came here for an Elon joke, was not disappointed

[–] sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 weeks ago

I don't know man. This poor dude is 3/8 in (little less than 10mm for those who have trouble) hard. I mean, what's he got to lose?

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I was tempted to post this in 'Uplifting News' as a joke.

But I think it belongs here.

[–] kazerniel@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

someone cross-posted it there :D

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] 4am@lemmy.zip 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Yeah, just a little.

[–] 58008@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

A brave man and a necessary conversation about the casual shaming of people's genitalia.

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Fuck this guy. He sends unsolicited dick pics.

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

To people who publicly make fun of it.

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s not okay, no matter the context. Not saying anyone should be making fun of his disability. I know it causes him many other health issues and I’m glad he’ll get help with those but unsolicited dick pics are not okay regardless.

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Public mockery is solicitation.

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip -1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Fluke@feddit.uk 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Now, usually I heavily agree with the feminist POV. This world was built to keep men empowered over women, no denying that.

However, I'm gonna have to side with the above. Public mockery of the fella is getting as involved as it's possible to get.

One can't attempt to gain social standing at his expense then claim offense when he fights back in the only way he can.

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Your argument makes it okay for dudes to send unsolicited dick pics anytime a person says they have a small penis or are compensating in some way.

Sexual harassment is not acceptable. Period.

[–] Fluke@feddit.uk 0 points 2 weeks ago

And yet....

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

*sent, past-tense. Yeah it was fucked up but he did it to people that were making fun of him and his condition and he's since acknowledged that it was gross and wrong to do what he did. It's ok to not forgive the dude but misrepresenting the situation to get others on your side is kinda lame.

[–] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 weeks ago

You may be right but as a woman, I am incredibly skeptical.

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Enhancement to make it even smaller? That would be funny :D

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Not sure that would be called an enhancement in such a case 😅

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Depends on you and your partners kinks i guess

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Computer, enhance 😏

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 weeks ago

Smallest peni in the world?

South Carolina, USA

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 6 points 2 weeks ago

I'm looking forward to pirating his first post-op porn vid

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Did Howard Stern already find the smallest peni?