Source: Kegseth accidentally texted me about the change
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And that’s basically it!
Final report recommendation: Keep your phone at home when your blitzed, Kegsbreath...
miley cyrus launches joint task force to track down the real identity of hannah montana
The call is coming from inside the house.
If you weren't doing so much stupid, illegal shit, then you wouldn't have to worry about leaks.


I love this sketchy. It is comedy gold
God damnit this sketch gets posted so many times these days. And it fits every time.
Isn’t he the leak?!?
"We'll stop at nothing to find him" the man says, standing in front of his own wanted poster.

"We're all trying to find the guy who did this." 🌭
This is what happens when you and everyone around you is incompetent.
Spoiler: it’s him
It's the whisky
The leak is coming from inside the building.
He's... He's in the room.
My God, who is this sonofabitch?!
Is he going to surrender to them too?
anti-whistleblower, anti-snitching task force.
A lot of jokes itt, but this is more fascism.
Making fun of fascists can often be just as satisfying as punching them. Both is best, of course...but one or the other will also do.
no, it will not do.
do more
“We’re gonna be so good on OpSec from now on.”
Isn't this like the first step in the establishment of fascism
Have your general squash or dissenters in the ranks.
Pretty much
Most transparent administration in US history, folks. /s
"The leaks are coming from inside the SecDef's office!"
Hotdog.gif
Do I look like I know what a jay-peg is?
Shtrike forsh!
The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.
Meanwhile pausing CMMC. Again.
Eh, CMMC is a mess, it needs paused so the government can figure their shit out
If it's anything like other Hegseth strike forces, he will pay those informants handsomely, do nothing to them, and learn nothing.
This is a bit like when I pretend I didn’t fart and it’s just me in the elevator alone.
Paying someone to hold his phone when he's been drinking, so it's a full-time position.
Joint Strike force is Joint because he needs supervision
His office then proceeded to send out an urgent memo with the title written in all caps comic sans "TAKE US SERIOUSLY, IT IS MADATORY"
Oh, good. That means the endeavor is as good as lost. If they WERE making any progress, it's done now.