this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2026
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The Onion

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[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This one almost got me. It's so hard these days because everything is insane.

dammit. i need to remember to look at the pictures.

[–] hobata@lemmy.ml 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Even this brat's got a job. What's your excuse?

[–] SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 days ago

My thumbs are busy.

[–] lemmyng@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

Not too far off from reality, sadly:

Two kids in my neighborhood were going door to door selling lemonade to be able to buy their mom a tablet she needed for work. She was only working off her phone at the time. Alternatively, the kid could give her his tablet to use and he'd have to raise money to buy his own.

Good lemonade, but fucked up that the economy is such shit that lemonade stands have gone door to door, and have become a vital source of income for families.

"Gotta work off these student loans," the precocious seven-year-old told reporters. "That $390k I owe to the Sycamore Elementary School ain't gonna pay itself off!"

sees community this was posted to Oh, thank fuck

[–] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 days ago

Bootstraps - this kids got em.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Future homeowner

[–] kibblebits@quokk.au 3 points 3 days ago
[–] Zaktor@sopuli.xyz 2 points 3 days ago

Heart-warming!

[–] Hudell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago

Not gonna lie when I was 15-16 I for a moment considered building something that was pretty much Uber eats - except it would be just me in my bike and a $10 host. Hadn't thought about putting other people into it.

But that was long before smartphones or even having internet access was common for most people.

[–] tempest@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 days ago

I see a lot more kids on electric scooters. Joke still works though. Also probably why everyone is fat so it's good we have ozempic.