this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2023
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[–] Lunar@slrpnk.net 1 points 2 years ago (7 children)

Good lord the replies to this are sad. Believe it or not it's a perfectly reasonable expectation to only want to date someone whose core beliefs align with yours (and, y'know, actually respects your rights as an independent human being.)

[–] CaptFeather@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

This is what so many of them think. If they really don't have a problem dating someone left leaning it either means they get off on tearing down strong women or don't really know what they believe and are still just parroting mommy and daddy's beliefs.

[–] fugepe@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Bo7a@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 years ago

The comments under that vid are fucking hilarious. If I go any further left I'll fall off the universe, but I also live a self-reliant life in the forest where I chop my own wood, fetch my water from a creek, run and maintain solar installations, and treat my wife like the wonderful human she is. All while being the traditional provider and 'manly' man. My truck is big, because it needs to be when you are building a house and homestead with your own hands.

And all these parking lot cowboys in their spotless lifted trucks think that these values are 'theirs'. Get fucked losers.

[–] democracy1984@lemmy.world -1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's fine to have dating preferences. The issue is when people who are just calling anyone who is conservative leaning terrible. If you don't agree with someone's political ideology, you should just respectfully disagree, not call them a terrible person.

Also, calling people evil for their options is a terribly way to convince them to change, it just makes them get really defensive. If you want to convince someone to change opinion, you need to have a respectful, insightful discussion.

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[–] JehovahJoe@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Women won't date me because I'm ugly :(

[–] rarely@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

You're right, but I'm not sure you understand the mechanics behind it. You probably think since you don't look like a gigachad, that you don't get dates. Women do care about looks sometimes, but not nearly as much as guys tend to fixate on. The quality I hear women trying to find most in a man is decency, followed by personality, shared interests, connection and then yeah, I guess looks.

The trope you're playing is funny, which is why we keep seeing it in media. A similar trope is seeing a "10/10" girl with a "3/10" guy and saying.. "him!?!" Or something about him needing to be rich or something.. because women only care about looks. In reality it seems that men think women only care about looks.

So, just keep in mind, if women won't date you, it has to do with a lot more than your looks. You can take that as a burn, or you can look within yourself, see if you think you have what women want (what I have mentioned) and if so, you're at the longest and final stage: putting yourself out there.

Edit: just to clarify, I define "decency" with a simple test which is "do I participate in any activities that go against what women are asking have been asking for for decades?" Things like right-wing politics (abortion bans, subservience to men), a livable wage, repect for consent, etc.. if the answer is no, you aren't "decent". They aren't asking for power over men, they're asking not to get raped and to have the bodily autonomy just as men have. They are asking guys not to hypersexualize them from children and try to understand that they aren't flirting with you at work, they just need to be nice to keep their job, and that they receive a lot of unwanted attention. They're also asking for guys to take them seriously and a lot of them would want men to know that they don’t bring these topics up because it can create an unsafe situation for them, that it even might have in their past, possibly more than once. We think that we know who men are when we see how they behave around other men. Unfortunately an astoundingly large number of men are abusive to women when other men aren't around. So yeah, you fail the decency test for politics if those politics harm women.

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[–] Shake747@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Putting people into boxes doesn't really help anyone.

People are more nuanced than that.

[–] alp@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Depends. I'd say racism is a great box to put people into.

[–] democracy1984@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago (3 children)

What does being conservative have to do with being racist?

[–] hernanca@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Conservatism by definition is thinking "Things are good right now, let's not change anything" or even worse: "Things were better before, let's go back to that".

The issue is "better for who"? Women, queer people, POC, working class people were NOT ok. Implicitly you can see that conservatism is bigoted by (at a minimum) ignoring or misrepresenting the realities of people they don't care about. It's just that lately, more and more conservatives are explicit about it and showing their true colors, but the philosophical underpinnings are the same.

[–] democracy1984@lemmy.world -1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's bad to under-represnt issues. But it's also bad to over-represent issues. The right answer is almost always in the middle.

The stuff you see in the news is carefully selected to show what makes people the most upset, that way it gets the most clicks.

In the past, women were subservient to men, black people were slaves, and being queer wasn't even allowed. Nowadays, things have improved a huge amount. There are still problems, but nothing like the past.

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