I'm half on one side, half on the other.
The line I draw is between safety and convenience. On the safety side, I want things to be very manual. I don't want some app or external system managing whether or not the lights stay on, or whatever, on the convenience side, I 1000% want a way to manage things like the lighting from an app.
So anywhere that safety is a concern, like the kitchen, bathroom, a handful of other places.... There's zero "smart" anything. Everywhere else, yeah, I can turn off my lights from an app.
When I'm in my office/living room, where safety isn't really a concern, I don't have to get up to turn on the lights, I can yell at my Google home to do it for me, or use an app. If I want the lights to be some shade of turquoise, I use the app....
In the kitchen, as an example, no such control exists. You have to push the light switch, and you get basic removed white light. You don't get an option. You want the light off? Take your fingers and do the thing that makes the light switch go click and turn off the lights.
The decision to make anything smart relies on whether or not I'm going to be in danger if the lights go out and there's no way to turn them on again because the Internet is down.