Record it and play it back at dinner.
this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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Get an airhorn and when they get super loud give it a few blasts and scream "gooooooooaaaal!" At the top of your lungs. Max volume. Do it each time they get loud. If they ask you what you're doing say you're watching Euro footie.
Genuinely I think the right answer is to have something really loud and off-putting for them (especially her) and an air horn perfectly fits the bill.
Just ask him what he's doing when she makes those noises, because you want to try it out on your girlfriend (or have your boyfriend do it to you, either/or, I ain't gonna judge).
Have loud sex with a woman his age to turn the tables.
Make it dad’s ex-wife to really get to him.
The oedipus offensive
I giggled far too long at this
Aww man. You made my day, thanks
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Either 'I can hear you fuck, keep it down.' or 'JFYI the walls are thin.'
Just ask him to keep it down? "Dude I'm pumped for you and all, but I'd really appreciate it if you guys could kick it down a notch"
Don't be subtle. Be direct and frank. "Dad, I don't want to hear you having sex with your new girlfriend and I shouldn't have to put up with it twice a day. Either be quiet or do it when I'm not home." Throw in some imitations of him or her. He should be mortified enough to behave. Better yet, tell it to both of them face to face. That way there can be no confusion between all parties.
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Stay respectfully, forget subtly. Say it like it is.
Agreed. I wouldn't interrupt their fun, but I'd mention it to my dad some time when the girlfriend wasn't around. I'd send an email or text if I felt too embarrassed/shy to say anything face-to-face. "Hey, Dad. Just FYI the walls are really thin in this apartment and I can hear what you two get up to."
I'd also look into earplugs. Earplugs + bone conductive headphones could be a good work around. I'm a fan of Shokz, but other brands exist.
In fact asking dad to buy new headphones could be a way to transition into that conversation.
"Hey, dad, will you buy me these?"
"Um...why?"
"11 and 6 dad. I need them for 11 and 6. Y'all ain't subtle."
This is the best answer in the thread. Add in eye contact and eyebrow gesture.
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Clap and say bravo at the end of it.
This will send a message.
"Encore!" 👏
Tell them to play a show with very high volume in the background.
Make him buy you a great pair of noise canceling headphones. You can get awesome headphones for like sub $300. That's well worth it to him I'm sure. And you of course. Win/win here.
Tell him straight up it's affecting your sleep patterns and you need the things above to get past it.
Offer the girlfriend's friends as sacrifice and get yours at the same time.
Start coughing loudly and see if they're sharp enough to infer what that means (if they can hear you, you can hear them).
The loud part of the 1812 Overture as soon as he's finishing.
Put some Dio on loud speakers and place them next to the shared wall
When dad's going down on her:
HOLY DIVER!
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becomin' of me
No, no, ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean
HOLY DIVER!
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Play some Gilbert ~~Godfrey~~ Gottfried comedy albums while they are going at it. His voice should kill the mood.
Maybe that's their thing and they'll go harder. Don't underestimate the Godfrey.
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Well I'm inferring your dad's not a young lad anymore, twice a day is quite impressive even more at 6 o'clock! I think they're a bit in the honeymoon phase, it'll mellow eventually*.
But to answer your question I have two options: -Tell him to lower the volume or pick some time you're not home IF it's your home, as in your dad has come to live with you or you are roommates, or you are too young to live by your own. -But IF it's his home and you are old enough then get your own flat/room or some good headphones and let them enjoy life.
*Or not, I don't know your dad or his girlfriend. Wish them the best tho.
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When you know they're in there, but it's not 11pm or 6am, call up someone on the phone, or cough, or hum to yourself. Just make mid level noises. The point is to get them to realize that if they can hear you, then you can hear them.
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