this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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Its the 14th century and you've had no time to prepare, after you're done reading this post you are snapped. What do you do?

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[–] frozen@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz 9 points 14 hours ago

Die a slow death from hyperglycemia once my pump runs out of insulin.

Infect the indigenous population with some god awful pathogen they have no defense against.

Die to a pathogen I have no defense against.

Die to the indigenous population due to being a white dude in pre-contact North America.

It uh... wouldn't be pretty.

[–] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Nobody would be able to understand me because English has diverged so far from 12th century English that it's a different language. Also I'd be in north America where nobody had even seen a white person. Additionally, I'm 20 ft above the ground right now in a building that didn't exist back then. Finally, I'd be rightfully blamed for bringing plague to the native tribes of the area and likely killed.

Assuming those hurdles were all cleared: I'm a mechanical engineer. So, I'd tell the natives where iron ore, coal, and oil was buried and how to extract and refine it. Tell them how to make gunpowder. Speed run making steam engines and lathes. Get north american natives armed, industrialized, and organized against the external European threat.

[–] PurpleSkull@lemm.ee 2 points 14 hours ago

Tell them how to make gunpowder.

That right here is all you need. If you can actually forge a gun and show them how to make gunpowder, you don't need anything else. Although even then you would probably be executed shortly after for being a threat to the nobility.

[–] seeigel@feddit.org 5 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

First I would seek the attention of the local ruler by cooking interesting dishes with modern knowledge.

Then I would ask him to create an akademy. I don't know the details but I know what can be known. Intelligent people will reinvent the knowledge.

Some side businesses should make enough money that the akademy and thus further development doesn't entirely rely on the king.

Build cities with public transport and no cars, because there is no car.

Success.

[–] PurpleSkull@lemm.ee 6 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Let me cook you something AMAZING!

First I need some curry...uh...okay, do you have salt? WHAT?

Alright, where is the oven? Time to prepare you some amazing lasagna! Where do you keep your noodles? No noodles? I guess I can hack it with potatoes.

...PO-TA-TOES! YOU...WHAT???

Okay nevermind, let me show you why you need to stop spending all your money on survival in warfare and instead fund my school! I can teach you to...uh...tell you about things we have in the future. No, I don't know how to create any of that. But trust me bro, just give me money. No need to tie me to your trebuchet like that, I'm sure I can remember how to build an airplane somehowAHHHHHHHHHH

You tried.

Edit: But don't worry, your myriads of novel diseases in your body will pretty much wipe out the continent you spawned on. Revenge!

[–] whitelobster69@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 13 hours ago

Great idea with the food. Probably won't get called a witch while building trust. Although I have no confidence in my ability to recognize any vegetable or spice, but hopefully a brine would be enough.

[–] Milk@lemm.ee 11 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

I’d be dead in the vacuum of space. You never mentioned that I’d just go back in time, you forgot the coordinates. Now I’m floating, dead. Thanks man.

[–] zenforyen@feddit.org 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

This. Once you understand enough about the universe how all coordinates are relative and everything is moving relative to everything else... Like, how the fuck is time travel supposed to work it it was anywhere like this naive movie idea of it? Time travel Hollywood style is literally not a continuous operation and as such absolutely unphysical.

[–] PoppyChulo@lemmy.wtf 1 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Well since all cordninates are realative, and your relative position to earth is unchanging, wouldn't that mean that everything else moves around you while you and the earth stand still and go back in time?

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

If the earth is going back in time as well then the whole planet as it is today would begin to freeze as a rogue planet unconnected to any star.

There's a reason the tardis is a time and space ship.

[–] PoppyChulo@lemmy.wtf 1 points 11 hours ago

Sorry I guess I should have clarified, but I think the other reply said it alright.

basically, if I move backwards in time, in my own spacetime, then my relative position in the universe would remain unchanged. hence Maybe I go back to where I was in time and relative to the universe(my parent's home 20 years back). the tardis can put you back in time and change where in that time you were.

This is all theoretical, but maybe hollywood isn't as far off as we think (even if they would have arrived there by chance and not logic)

[–] zenforyen@feddit.org 1 points 14 hours ago

Good one. I am the frame of reference myself... And we rewind time around me, kind of.

Okay, that at least does not sound so wrong like the "teleportation-style" approach!

What you say is like the extreme form of how time travel worked in Primer (the movie), which in fact is an interesting variation.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 6 points 18 hours ago

find the nearest sword and belly flop on its pointy side

[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 20 hours ago

I don't think I know a single language from the time, so I'm probably getting murdered because I'm a strange foreigner who can't defend themselves with words.

[–] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 4 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Well, I'm in America, so...

I guess I'd prep the natives to help put up a proper fight. Find a way to teach them that white people (like myself) carry diseases and to stay away and keep them away. If they land on your shores, drive them back. Never let them get a foothold. I'd try to convince them that I was a demon that got away from the other demons to warn of our coming.

I'd do my best to make it so nobody remembered the name Christopher Columbus except as the idiot that died because he thought the world was much smaller than it is and never returned from his voyage.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 5 points 16 hours ago

white people (like myself) carry diseases

Congratulations, you already killed them all

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago

Most likely, you'd just start their mass depopulation pandemic a bit earlier.

[–] Bieren@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Nothing. I’d sit under an tree and enjoy the peace and quiet. No trump. No DC. No MAGA. No reporters. No non stop ads. No social media. No Google. No Elon. No bezos. The list goes on. Sure I’d probably die of some random disease or bandits. But I’d be okay with it at that point.

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Well you can do that today. Find a tree out in the middle of nowhere and sit under it without any electronic devices. Then you are oblivious to all that stuff. You may be bothered by the fact that the things are still happening, but there are also plenty of horrific things happening in that time period you went to, you just won't be keeping track of them.

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Bruv I don't think I could forget that stuff is happening just because I'm not reading it.

[–] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

I mean, it will still be happening even if you're in the past.

[–] Zink@programming.dev 4 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Well you can do that today. Find a tree out in the middle of nowhere and sit under it without any electronic devices. Then you are oblivious to all that stuff.

There is much wisdom buried in what seems like a simple comment here.

Even if you aren’t in the middle of nowhere, you can find or create your oasis.

[–] zenforyen@feddit.org 1 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

Absolutely. In these times it is probably the only way to survive and stay sane. Being terminally online and informed is just leading to overdose of the shittiness of like everything. Create a soft bubble of bliss and steer away from noise and trouble. Before, I always thought that escapism is despicable but it feels increasingly like I'm not strong enough mentally to look in the face of reality for prolonged times these days. It's like staring into the sun, it burns you.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Start a cult.

Everything I've seen for the last decade indicates it's pretty easy and highly profitable.

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

and you have all the knowledge of what cults already took off like wildfire. Mormonism for example, that shit is gold.

[–] turmacar@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago

You don't even have to show the gold. Just say you saw it and it's now in that tent over there. No you can't go in. This is what was written on it though. Oh it's in a language only I can read. Don't worry, I'll translate. Give me your wife.

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Uhh anyone know where to get estrogen injections in the 14th century?

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I bet there is a crunchy mom that can tell you what plant to eat, but there's like a 70/30 chance its gonna kill you instead.

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 1 points 14 hours ago

Better odds than having my body change back, sooooo ....

[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

I could probably discover electricity, depending on where I landed. Jewelers of the time could make wire, copper was common, and magnets (lodestones) had been discovered. Realistically though I'd be a dumb giant (ie, speak no known languages of the time and statistically I'd have like a foot on the "tall" people of the era). I'd probably try to find some party trick that looked like magic to people of the era then hope that people would welcome and try to integrate me rather than burning me as a witch. Then I'd probably die in a week or two anyway to some disease lol

[–] Damage@feddit.it 2 points 16 hours ago

Coating wires to make windings may prove tricky tho

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

The party trick thing reminded me of a book series called Magic 2.0 that I read a while back . This guy figures out that the universe is a simulation and basically hacks the code; now he can jump through time as he pleases. He goes back to the Middle Ages and brings plastic wrap with him and calls it clear paper, which convinces everyone that he's a wizard. It was a fun read but got dumb around the 3rd-ish book.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 1 points 15 hours ago

I'd probably be dead in no time for a long list of reasons

First of all, nobisy would be able to understand me, as even current English would be barely recognizable by them

Then there is the issue that I'm probably at least a foot taller than most people and let's just say that "being even remotely different" back then was a good reason to be killed

Then there is the food issue. Food was scarce (hence most people being quite a bit shorter than me) so it'd be hard to keep myself fed. Clean water? Hah, good luck with that.

Then there is the issue of diseases. I probably carry shit that their bodies won't be able to handle, si being around me will likely make people sick, which in turn will get me labeled as a witch which would get me tortured and burned. Similarly but conversely, loads of diseases that were rampant back then are now gone, and likely my body is less equipped to handle that, I'd die from some disease

Ignoring all of that...

I'd probably start spreading the knowledge of democracy, and the harms of religion, and how important it is to immediately kill kings or king wannabes. I'd make a library with a vast wealth of knowledge and give access to the first country that successfully transforms itself to a representative atheist democracy with laws in place to ensure that no king, fascist, or wannabe will ever be able to rise up again.

That country would become the dominant world power within decades, spreading democracy and science over the world.

[–] dotson@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)
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That’s 1375.

Not good, not bad. Depends on where you ended up on the globe. There absolutely is civilization, but it’s all kings and Tsars and the like. The English and French Hundred Years War is winding down but the plague really did a number on Europe. Lots of war in India. It wasn’t a great time in the Middle East what with the Crusades and all. The Egyptians are conquering Armenia. The Songhai Emprire is growing in Eastern Africa. Southeast Asia had a lot of conquest and a large kingdom growing, might not have been so bad as long as you landed on the winning side. The Ming Dynasty just started in China.

So it’s not like you ended up in pre-civilization or among dinosaurs or something. There are plenty of people around, but it’s still an age of war and conquest. Your best bet to have a great life would be to ally yourself with a strong leader and give them advancements to help that leader “win”. Of course, if he were defeated, you’d be slowly tortured and killed by the opposing side.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I'd be dead since the Earth wasn't in the same position 650 years ago. Even taking that out of the equation, I'd die since I can't communicate with anyone and don't have the survival skills.

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[–] The_Caretaker@lemm.ee 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I would use the superstitions of the people of the area to scare them away from me and my space. I would build a Catalan forge and a smelter that is powered by falling water. I would make gunpowder but not share the recipe. I would also distill alcohol for sale and for hygiene. I would use Leedskalnins PMH to create permanent magnets and use them to make electricity. Electric fences also help keep the superstitious barbarians away. I would also be a beekeeper.

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Wow you know how to do all that stuff right now off the top of your head without books or instructions? I am impressed. I feel like the best I would be able to do alcohol wise is distilled prison hooch. Like I know the basic priceable but not the recipe.

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[–] redwattlebird@lemmings.world 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, I'm in Australia so I would try and communicate with the indigenous population and teach them how to defend themselves against the upcoming colonist invasion and take advantage of what they have to offer, starting with forcing a signed treaty.

[–] Soggy@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

American here: governments have never cared about signed treaties with natives. But your heart's in the right place.

[–] redwattlebird@lemmings.world 1 points 12 hours ago

Thanks. I think they do ok in New Zealand though with the Maori.

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