Ask Lemmy

I once shared a hospital room with two old geezers after surgery, and one of them had a visit from their grandson. The dude had Nazi tattoos all over his face, swastikas, SS lighting bolts, 88's, the iron cross, the whole collection.

When the Nazi loser left, the old guy complained to us others in the room: "Lovely kid that... Such a shame he cannot get a job. I cannot understand why! Such a decent boy, has a forklift drivers license and everything!"

So yeah, in total that might have been the densest occurrence of idiocy I have ever witnessed.

Girl I know has a slice of drippy cheese pizza on her arm. Can't even really give a reason for it.

A guy at my work got promoted to manager and celebrated by tattooing the company logo onto his chest. Pretty much everyone had to hold back laughing when he showed it off.

Not "THE" dumbest, but my older half-sister got a breakup tattoo that said "you're loss" a couple of years ago... I don't understand how neither she nor her tattooist took 5 seconds to look up the spelling. And getting a breakup tattoo in the first place is dumb enough.

Went to this ice cream shop. This lady talked about all her tattoos. They all looked awful like a toddler did them. She said that she proudly stated that all her tattoos were done by her ex.

Poorly drawn Cliff Richard seen on a woman’s shoulder in Blackpool (of course).

I worked in Indiana, and actually got to see that dude with the Romney campaign logo on his face.

In my late teens, maybe 20 I worked in a restaurant and got invited to a party after work in a very rough part of town. So rough that the taxi driver wouldn't let us get out until we found the exact address (this would have been mid nineties so well before GPS nav was popular).

Anyway we get there. Folks are nice. Maybe ten in total plus the 4 of us from work. They're rough around the edges but generally salt of the earth characters which I love so it's all going well. Get chatting to one lad and he shows me his new tattoo on his forearm that his friend had done for him.

It was a palm tree on a tiny desert island with a dude sitting against the tree smoking a massive joint.

Now this monstrosity was one colour, all outlines, looked like it was done with a compass from your school pencil case and my 11 year old would have done a better job. It's very difficult to describe just how shite it was.

Felt really sorry for the lad. He was definitely going to regret it if he didn't already. Never forgot that tattoo though.

I have a distant relative with a traffic light tattooed in the middle of his forehead, just a black rectangle with red, yellow, and green circles.

And on either side he has some graffiti style writing that I'm pretty sure says "con man"

I became aware of him because we share a fairly uncommon last name, and one day police came to my house grasping at straws looking for this guy because he had been breaking into cars, so the basically went to the first person with the same last name they could find to see if we knew where he was.

It was the first time I'd heard of him, we're not at all close with the extended family. Eventually I looked him up and found his social media with those stupid tattoos.

Have a cousin with a Budweiser logo on her lower back ala "tramp stamp".

Honestly, I think it's cringe to have any logo or IP on your body.

I saw this one kid, with a tattoo of a butt on his butt. He kept pulling his shirt up over his head. He said he was from lake titicaca. That boy wasn’t right.

I mean, there's definitely gonna be worse out there, but I once saw a tattoo on an online post, of presumably their date of birth in roman numerals.
Problem is, there was only one "M", so it looked something like: IV/X/MCXCIV

But I figured, alright, let's not assume things, maybe they're a history buff and something cool happened on that day in 1194.
But if I remember correctly, I found some list of all Wikipedia articles for specific dates and that day did not have an article, because nothing noteworthy had happened.

So, yeah, I guess we do have to assume that they are in fact a vampire.

Some nazi shit

I know a guy who got Abe Simpson crawling out of his butt crack.

I came across a Twitch streamer with his username tattooed across his knuckles in Norse Runes, except it was spelled wrong. He had ᚦ (Th) in place of ᚲ (K or C) which is far from similar in pronunciation. A quick Google search of the wiki page for Norse Runes could have avoided this issue too.