this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2026
949 points (95.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

38851 readers
4308 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 213 points 1 month ago (14 children)

A vegetable wouldn't hurt you.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 122 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 65 points 1 month ago

Stop it, you're killing him!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 66 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It would if it fell on your head. Checkmate atheists.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago
[–] Hackworth@piefed.ca 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 26 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Potatoes could. The leaves, sprouts, and underground stems (tubers) of potatoes contain a toxic substance called glycoalkaloid. Glycoalkaloids make a potato look green when it's exposed to light, gets damaged, or ages. Eating potatoes with a high glycoalkaloid content can cause nausea, diarrhea, confusion, headaches, and death.

Also, the sentient mutant vegetables on Atrack of the Killer Tomatoes will definitely want to do harm toward OP.

[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago

Not to mention, if you try to swallow a potato whole (as one does), you risk choking to death.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

From what I understand, green potatoes are rendered harmless by boiling, as the poisons are water soluble. Though they are not rendered inactive by boiling, they are diffused through the water, rendering it inadvisable to reuse for boiling other foods. Following that, harvesting these poisons is relatively easy and a good way to get Cheney, that asshole, to keep to his own fucking food.

Not disagreeing, trying to keep food waste down.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm a vegetarian once removed. A lot of the animals I eat were vegetarians.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (7 children)

A chicken would eat you if it could

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (10 replies)
[–] Triumph@fedia.io 122 points 1 month ago (8 children)

Would a medieval peasant have access to that much meat?

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 80 points 1 month ago (1 children)

King Richard I was once captured for ransom while traveling undercover trough Austria.

His cover was blown specifically because he tried ordering a roast chicken.

There are a few variations of the details in this story though, a peasant could definitely have owned a chicken and eaten it when it died but it was probably way more valuable to sell it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] cattywampas@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yes, they had chickens back then.

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] mtpender@piefed.social 16 points 1 month ago

"The tall, skinny ones are confused, Brother..."

[–] Denjin@feddit.uk 38 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Doubtful, most common meal for peasants would have been a sort of stew of vegetables and oats called pottage.

A whole chicken would have been prohibitively expensive either to purchase or in lost money from sale at market, same for pork or beef.

Fish though would be plentiful and cheap and a valuable source of protein. Oysters were considered peasant food until pretty much the 20th century.

Wheat bread similarly would have been a rare luxury, especially made from refined white flour, rye and buckwheat, roughly ground would be far more common.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I read this comment in Max Miller's voice and it definitely enhanced it

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 month ago

They'd have access, but you're not wrong, a peasant probably isn't going to waste that much on a single meal.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 66 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Even in the 1960s eating a whole chicken would have been a luxury, this isn't peasant food, that's the gout inducing diet of a king

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 59 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Soft white bread? Nobody but rich upper class people could afford soft white bread until well past the industrial revolution.

That's also a pretty large roasted bird that's being eaten in complete absence of stew.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Stern@lemmy.world 50 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Skyrim ass meal. need a wheel of cheese with it.

[–] arc99@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Try a ploughmans meal - bread, cheese and pickle. Awesome as a lunch.

[–] TimeNaan@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

Btw, that "ploughman's lunch" was created in the 1960s by british marketing executives. It has nothing to do with medieval times, it's just meant to evoque that vague feeling.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] timestatic@feddit.org 47 points 1 month ago (4 children)

A medieval peasant on a celebration day. I doubt they could eat a whole as chicken every day

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Depends on which era honestly. The medieval period lasted for nearly a thousand years and could vary about as much as one would expect, so for example a very well off peasant during the high medieval period maybe could have eaten a whole ass chicken for a while at least. Probably wouldn't have though, at least not without turning it into soup or a sandwich equivalent.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 41 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Oh damn, that's a fucking feast! Peasents can't afford that shit.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] john_t@piefed.ee 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent chicken meal?", "Get your hand off my baguette!"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online 37 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Peasants? Even many nobles didn't eat like that every day.

People think that the typical nobleman in the Middle Ages ate like King Henry VIII. That isn't true. Did you know that they determined that at least at a few points in Vlad the Impaler's life he was basically living on a vegan diet? They ate a hell of a lot of vegetables and grains because meat was still expensive for everyone involved.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] JAPHacake@feddit.uk 35 points 1 month ago

More like a medieval king.

[–] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 1 month ago (4 children)

You're eating like Final Fight.
(Hits a trashcan)
Roasted chicken.
(Hits some tires)
Bread.
100% health let's go!!!

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AHorseWithNoNeigh@piefed.social 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago

If by "peasant" you mean "knight of the fucking round table" then yes

[–] DragonOracleIX@lemmy.ml 21 points 1 month ago

A medieval peasant would be wishing they could est like this.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (15 children)

A few things to unpack here.

  • That chicken is roasted nicely, but I completely understand if that was bought in that condition at the grocer's.
  • Plain bread is a travesty. it needs to be either toasted and/or you need some melted butter or gravy to sop up.
  • Pair this with some fruit or pan seared/roasted vegetables. Even microwaved beans would make this nutritious. Takes very little effort, very easy to do.
  • Even peasants had access to beer, ale, or home-made short-beer/kvass. Gotta calorie-max so you can work in the field tomorrow. Plus, the alcohol helps with the constant muscle-aches and fatigue from endless labor.

There are innumerable ways to elevate this meal, but I'll keep this comment short. Anyone, feel free to message me or reply here if you want tips for that.

load more comments (15 replies)
[–] mlg@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

No one before the 1930s had access to such a large breed of chicken lol.

They probably would have confused this picture with a miniature Turkey.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] arc99@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (4 children)

A lazy supermarket special - a roast chicken in a bag and a baguette roll picked up on the way to the checkout. We've all been there and I'm sure it makes a passable meal, but cooking is a skill everyone should endeavour to be proficient in.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] thethrilloftime69@feddit.online 16 points 1 month ago (6 children)

You're going to be constipated

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Eat_Your_Paisley@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The person for sure needs to learn how to cook

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Peasants? That wpuld be a medieval noble

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 13 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Looks pretty good, but I'd like some BBQ sauce, at least.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Reminds me of a pretty recent game called Pentiment that's like an old school point and click adventure about a murder in a middle age German Abby where a bunch of conversations happen over meals & who you eat with can have an effect on a bunch if stuff in the game. it was pretty cool to include and I'm guessing they tried to go for some accuracy considering how much detail they use on the foods.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (3 children)

........why does this gif exist???

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Minecraft dinner

[–] heiligerbimbam@lemmy.wtf 12 points 1 month ago

😂 I don't think I eat that much meat in a whole month, but I also "cook" very simply. Quantity and taste are more important than style.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's a US$5 Costco rotisserie

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›