this post was submitted on 13 Feb 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 213 points 1 month ago (9 children)

A vegetable wouldn't hurt you.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 122 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 65 points 1 month ago

Stop it, you're killing him!

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 66 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It would if it fell on your head. Checkmate atheists.

[–] Hackworth@piefed.ca 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] PancakesCantKillMe@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

One of the episodes that had me in stitches was when he ate seafood from a dumpster then went out in his rowboat for a cruise.

[–] KSPAtlas@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 month ago

It would also kill you if it was fired out of a cannon without breaking apart somehow

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 26 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Potatoes could. The leaves, sprouts, and underground stems (tubers) of potatoes contain a toxic substance called glycoalkaloid. Glycoalkaloids make a potato look green when it's exposed to light, gets damaged, or ages. Eating potatoes with a high glycoalkaloid content can cause nausea, diarrhea, confusion, headaches, and death.

Also, the sentient mutant vegetables on Atrack of the Killer Tomatoes will definitely want to do harm toward OP.

[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago

Not to mention, if you try to swallow a potato whole (as one does), you risk choking to death.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

From what I understand, green potatoes are rendered harmless by boiling, as the poisons are water soluble. Though they are not rendered inactive by boiling, they are diffused through the water, rendering it inadvisable to reuse for boiling other foods. Following that, harvesting these poisons is relatively easy and a good way to get Cheney, that asshole, to keep to his own fucking food.

Not disagreeing, trying to keep food waste down.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How did we get to Cheney here?

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.today 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

now I have Attack of the Killer Tomatoes song in my head, what a fucking classic!

[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

I think the sequel is even better

[–] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I am sure you shouldn't eat raw potatoes anyway

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Tomatoes are fruit! Although I don't know if the mutant tomatoes still count as such.

[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm a vegetarian once removed. A lot of the animals I eat were vegetarians.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (5 children)

A chicken would eat you if it could

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 9 points 1 month ago

Hogs eat anything you put in their trough and I mean anything.

[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hey I didn't say all of them, and the chicken that defeats me in single combat is welcome to feed upon my corpse.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I ain't fuckin' with THAT chicken, I've seen him do some shit.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 month ago

And everyone you love.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

This is an argument that it’s morally fair to be chickenarian

[–] Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Agree. If you throw anything into a chicken yard - and I mean anything - they will try to eat it.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This at least reduces biomagnification.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Probably hard to from their hospital bed, but I don't see what this feast fit for a squire has to do with that.

[–] Nosavingthrow@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Oh yeah? Do you think a bit of fiber finally moving all that trapped poop is harmless? We don't all have guts of steel like SOMEBODY.

[–] mc900ftJesus@lemy.lol 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] stray@pawb.social 9 points 1 month ago

Wheat grain is strictly a vegetable, being an edible plant part. But people usually use the word to refer to a socially-constructed category which is completely feels-based. Membership tends to be determined by flavor profile, nutrition content, and whether the given part falls into another popular sub-category (such as fruit or nuts). This is why fruits like the tomato and pumpkin are usually sorted as vegetables separately from fruits with generally sweeter flavors like the banana or orange.

Vegetables like grains, legumes, and certain tubers will often be grouped together as "carbs" due to their high carbohydrate content which distinguishes them from low-calorie, high-fiber vegetables like spinach or broccoli.

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wheat is a plant. If wheat was a vegetable we wouldn't need the distinction between plant and vegetable.

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 month ago

There are parts of plants that aren't edible. One definition of vegetable is the edible part of a plant.

[–] YellowParenti@lemmy.wtf 1 points 1 month ago

When I was on a strict diet, I actually bought 5 dollar rotisserie chicken and made a stir fry of sorts with broccoli, spinach, carrots, peas. I'd skip breakfast just to be able to have a big dinner and be satisfied going to bed. I'd try to get close to 120g of protein a day, (I'd eat half a chicken a day) and technically as much veg as I could stomach. I figure I was eating around 1500 calories a day. It worked but it was boring.

[–] tino_408@lemmy.world -3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Most vegetables are poisonous just saying

[–] axx@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's really stretching the definition of "vegetables".

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 1 month ago

Vegetable is any part of the plant that is edible and I don't think the poison parts are considered edible, meaning zero vegetables are poisonous.