this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2026

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Lemmy Shitpost

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479

bold words (europe.pub)

submitted 2 weeks ago by kali_fornication@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

287 comments fedilink hide all child comments

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[–] totally_human_emdash_user@piefed.blahaj.zone 85 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Quick! You must—

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't wanna be your enemy 😁

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[–] SarahValentine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 75 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Girl, you're transgender.

[–] kernelle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 weeks ago

Girl, you're -

[–] Contextual_Idiot@sh.itjust.works 74 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Mine Bitcoin. Hold.

[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Bitcoin. 120k. 2025.

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Bitcoin. One hundred…

You just blew it.

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

sell at $100… got it! thanks future me! will do!

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[–] Serinus@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You buy 5 bitcoins for $450 each in 2016. It's what you can afford. You sell them for $10,000 each in 2018, timing it decently just before a bigger drop.

Congrats on your $48k.

[–] Contextual_Idiot@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Look at this youngin, turning 18 in 2016. Enjoy your knees and shoulders while you can.

2009-2010, you hear about this "Bitcoin" thing for the first time. You remember some old fart telling you about it years ago, but you had no idea what they were talking about and assumed they had mental problems. You decide to download it and start mining it, it doesn't hurt anything. It just uses your CPU to mine them. You let it run and quickly forget about it. Eventually, you get tired of it slowing your computer down. You have a few thousand coins by now, so you shut the miner down and put your wallet somewhere safe. Then you forget all about it, until about 2021...

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[–] lichtmetzger@discuss.tchncs.de 60 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Don't preorder Cyberpunk.

[–] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've never understood why anyone would pre-order anything digital. Were you afraid they would run out?

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[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 51 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

ADHD not stupid

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[–] wavebeam@lemmy.world 37 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Move to europe

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[–] communist@lemmy.frozeninferno.xyz 36 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Bitcoin hits 120k

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[–] gergolippai@lemmy.world 32 points 1 week ago

Buy Bit Coin

[–] db2@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

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[–] SpookyBogMonster@lemmy.ml 27 points 2 weeks ago

"you're a girl"

[–] Draegur@lemmy.zip 25 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (6 children)

first choice:
PURSUE NUCLEAR ENGINEERING

runner up:
YOU AIN'T MALE

third place:
ATTENTION DEFICIT: REAL

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[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Invest in Apple.

[–] mrnobody@reddthat.com 26 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Invest in ~~Nvidia~~ yourself

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[–] ChocolateFrostedSugarBombs@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago (15 children)

Sell Bitcoin 2025

This tells myself to first buy Bitcoin so I have some to sell. Then gives me the year it was at the highest peak. By then I'll be intrigued and will be paying attention. I may not hit exactly March which was the highest point but I'll still be much better off.

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[–] RelativePlatypus@piefed.world 24 points 2 weeks ago

It gets worse

[–] lumettaria@sopuli.xyz 24 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

You a lesbian

[–] Someplaceunknown@leminal.space 22 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

You're a girl

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[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

Buy $0.01 bitcoin.

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[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 22 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Don't get married.

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[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 22 points 1 week ago (6 children)

You ADHD transgender

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[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Two would be enough, "buy bitcoin".

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[–] Vespair@lemmy.zip 20 points 2 weeks ago

Just be punk.

[–] muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 weeks ago

You’re a bottom.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago

Don't do it

[–] SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Transgender, AuDHD, (secret third thing. Or maybe just bitcoin)

..I'm sure my 18 year old ass would process this information in a calm and reasonable manner, lol

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[–] SethTaylor@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

Suck. My. Balls.

(He'd think it's fucking hilarious)

[–] AlecSadler@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Let's see...

don't sell bitcoin

don't sell doge

don't buy restaurant

don't date XYZ

don't date ABC

don't buy restaurant

don't quit place

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[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Buy some bitcoin

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[–] MilitantAtheist@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago

Buy All Bitcoin

[–] funkyfarmington@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Don't. Marry. Her.

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[–] EvilHankVenture@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

You need therapy.

[–] Zikeji@programming.dev 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Cherish them more.

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[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

It's-A-Me!

[–] Gurei@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 week ago

Read scholarship terms.

(Got fucked over majorly at DeVry because I trusted actual adults in authority positions for my guidance and wish I had the backbone back then to call them out on it.)

[–] damnthefilibuster@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

invest in bitcoin!!!!!!!

[–] LilithElina@literature.cafe 13 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Don't have children.

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[–] T13URF@feddit.org 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Take LSD now

[–] piranhaconda@mander.xyz 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Tossup between "buy Bitcoin now" and "you are autistic"

The first one, because, obviously. The second one, because I didn't find out until I was in my 30s. My lemmy account is older than my diagnosis.

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