Yeah, Tailscale!! It’s a very nicely packaged front end for Wireguard, which is a “mesh vpn” if I’m remembering my terms properly. Basically makes all my devices think they are on the same network at all times, and provides convenient names to use to connect to them.
I self host sunshine and use the moonlight client on iOS for my remote desktop. It’s meant for in home game streaming, but using Tailscale I can connect from anywhere.
I’m very similar. Getting into self hosting and finding Lemmy happened somewhat in tandem. Now I’m happily tinkering along and looking at hosting my own instance! This comm has been a huge resource and seems very active!!