doug

I know it’s hella cheesy and there’s a masculinity joke about the fantasy of wanting to live out the cliche that is sacrificing yourself to buy time for others to run off and live, but honestly with fascism at everyone’s doorstep and me without ever having had a retirement plan or sense of purpose, I can’t think of a better opportunity to line myself up to live out that fantasy.

…mind you I am not actively seeking to speed up that process right now/I’d like to live as long as I could, but I’ve just kind of been bracing for mental impact that that’s probably going to be the equivalent of my retirement plan.

Yeah I literally got my diagnosis (without even really seeking one out) a week or so before RFK announced his database.

Oh well, fuck him. I’m not gonna let that asshole rob me of my mental health journey.

Anecdotally, a lot of my friends are doctors (/humblebrag) and are looking to gtfo of the states/have been looking do so since election night.

I would myself but uhhhh, my spouse and I haven’t got any kids and I’d rather stay and fight/do what I can within the community we have here.

“I’m sorry!! I don’t know how this happened! Well, um, now that you’re here… wanna watch The Last Unicorn? I won’t sap this time!”

hey now, at least we dehumanize and tuck our embarrassing drug addicts into the lower class neighborhoods and under bridges were they belong so we can ignore them easier! /s

anxiety meds, not beat myself up for feeling dead inside/the same level of emotions everyone else has (e.g. not crying when relatives die irl but crying at some movies), adhd meds instead of trying to rawdog curbing my procrastination with mindfulness and pomodoros and beating myself up when it doesn’t work; know what stimming is/how to explain the odd noises to my neighbors in case they ever hear me talking to myself aloud, also how to explain why I walk on my toes. know what alexithmyia is and that your body can have panic attacks while thinking your mind is 100% calm, thus making you think you’re having a heart attack.

That’s a word vomit list of things; meds are the only things you need the diagnosis for/I don’t blame people for not pursuing an official diagnosis. But again I wish I knew sooner/I had seen more explicit depictions of autism in media other than movies (which I watch a lot of) like Rain Man or Mercury Rising.

Brios? Those were great!

Being diagnosed with autism at 40 didn’t help, wish I knew I had it sooner.

oh snap! you’re right! this is why I was on academic probation from film school! 😔

I guess we need to see him bone then?

I do think it's ironic that a chunk of the places that have universal healthcare still have a massive smoking problem.

I can't help but wonder in a silver-linings-to-shit-stains kind of way if part of the reason smoking was curbed as much as it was in the states (aside from successful votes/lobbying) is because it's too expensive to die from.

Have YOU seen him pee? I just think if he wants to prove he’s not a robot, we need to see his piss.

I wonder if Russia knew their US plant would be so obvious that leaders would stop feeding the US intelligence.