eupraxia

joined 2 years ago
[–] eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

It's working out great! I've been openly polyamorous for a few years now. Romantically engaging with multiple people has allowed for the longest-running, most secure relationships I've ever had, with basically no downsides except the fuCKING work. It complicates the logistics (my shared calendar is a nightmare) as well as the emotions. (recognizing when I am jealous is a nightmare)

But the payoff is so worth it. We make the best use of the time we have together, because we have to. We communicate effectively, because we have to. Through many intersecting relationships with appropriate boundaries we've weaved a cohesive family unit, one that achieves a lot of mutual aid needs around housing, food, and mental health support among local queers. I've grown a lot as a person through having to communicate my insecurities, sort out my trauma, and think more clearly about the people in my life.

I think some people on the internet have heard of insane polycule drama at some point and declared it categorically unapproachable. But idk, we don't write off monogamous relationships because a cousin's friend's marriage exploded. Polyamorous relationships run the same spectrum of great to dogshit, but with less rules that monogamous relationships demand, we have so much more flexibility to solve problems when they come up.

[–] eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

glad it worked out for y'all! It seems rare for a monogamous relationship to be successfully opened up, rather than it being the expectation from the outset. I can imagine it being a big challenge and test of your compatibility + ability to communicate. Was that your experience?

[–] eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I crunched like hell in my mid 20s on a live service game that I enjoyed playing, was well loved and consistently played by a few fans, and had a few unique ideas in its niche. I gave up a lot of life for that game to see the light of day, under extremely tight timelines and wavering support from a flakey publisher.

It lasted less than a year in release because of a few mistakes in early access and it inhabited a saturated market that seems near impossible to penetrate now. The console ports that caused the worst months of the crunch never even saw a release.

Me and the rest of the devs would love to just play the game again, but the game's kinda just rotting somewhere in storage of a publisher that long ago tried to pivot toward NFT/metaverse bullshit, to predictable results. Outside of a few early playtest builds a few people have (and definitely aren't supposed to) we have basically no way of playing it ourselves, much less letting others play it. We couldn't even get much approved to show in a portfolio once the studio closed and the assets went to the publisher. It makes me really sad and I'm no longer in game dev / tech at large professionally for that reason. This story is not unique, this is pretty much just how the industry works and devs near-universally feel screwed over by it.

[–] eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

In the age of early access viral hits, optimization is just something no publisher wants to put resources into before they know the game's a success or not.

True story, a game I worked on at my last job shipped on Xbox One and PS4, the PS4 version was not even built until a month before shipping.

[–] eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago

🎶 no I ain't no crook, I ain't no vandal, just pourin' one out from a can of Campbell's! 🎶

[–] eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

It’s a culture issue, it takes time and advocacy to improve...

It's true! And one of the most effective forms of advocacy for this sort of thing is integration. Being in public spaces, doing the same things cis people do, respecting norms that ensure everyone's safety there, is one of the most direct ways for us to be understood as pretty much like anyone else. Not an exception, but a peer and an equal member of a community. If you construct spaces to protect people from being uncomfortable at our mere presence, you deprive them of the exact experience that is most effective at alleviating their concerns.

"Bullshit" is shorthand for "bigoted, based on inaccurate assumptions, and very possible to overcome with exposure to the group these opinions are targeted at." I say this with love and respect for my younger self that held many of the same "bullshit" opinions. And a mild frustration and willingness to draw clear lines in the sand now that I know better. Thanks for hearing me out while I vent a bit regardless. ✌️

[–] eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

I understand there's no solution here that doesn't result in discomfort for someone, it will always be a balance, but I'm pretty opposed to declaring spaces off limits for trans people for cis people's comfort. That does nothing but push the discomfort off into the future and deny us access to public spaces simply due to the fact that people don't feel like seeing our bodies. Would it be appropriate to enforce acceptable BMI ranges, or require patrons to have all their limbs, or require them to have a particular skin color? All these things make some uncomfortable too, for bullshit reasons, and we wouldn't allow for discrimination on those grounds - why are trans bodies the exception?

Not going after you in particular, this is a pretty common hangup. But it just irks me given that going to a spa every now and then is extremely important to my health due to chronic pain. If this was the norm for spas within reasonable distance of me, I'd have nowhere to go to meet that need. Denying services in this manner is not trivial or harmless.

[–] eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (5 children)

I guess I'm of the mind that if you're showing up to be nude in a spa around other nude people, does it actually tangibly matter which genitals are present, so long as all other norms of the space are respected? Bodies are just bodies. The rules of engagement (read: "don't") are still the same. Trans women are not coming into women's spaces to harass cis women, in fact we're a lot more likely to be harassed ourselves if we're required to use mens-only facilities instead.

This is a spa in with locations in Tacoma/Lynnwood WA, relatively near there is a nude beach that seems to handle this just fine.

[–] eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

for me I just... couldn't stand either of the main characters and thought the reviving-their-dead-marriage arc was really trite. I didn't believe these were people that "should" be together and around the time they dismembered that elephant (!!??) I was fully checked out.

The game was wonderful when we were actually playing, probably the most fun I've had in a coop puzzle game since Portal 2. I really wouldn't need much in the way of story to convince me to keep playing, but there were so many goddamn cutscenes! I'm glad others enjoyed it more than me, and did enjoy a lot of the gameplay, but the characters really soured me on the game eventually.

[–] eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (7 children)

I mean, are trans people who haven't had bottom surgery not supposed to use gender-separated locker rooms? Which one should we use? I go to a spa where I can change in the women's locker room and it's just very normal. I'm not concerning anyone with my dick and nobody's concerning themselves with mine. Granted, it seems patrons of this spa remain nude while using the facilities, but it's still a comparable example. If harassment / unwanted sexual advances are one's concern, then unfortunately that is just possible anyway and needs to be mitigated regardless of genital configuration. They could at least let her wear a swim skirt or something y'know?

[–] eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, amateur sports mimicking elite sports is a big part of this issue and a microcosm of another issue with exercise culture at large. We're more sedentary than ever, but when we go to the gym or train for a sport, we mimic what elite athletes do, which isn't very appropriate for beginners. An example might be doing a lot of strength building in isolation without bringing it together into broader multi-joint movements, which results in poor motor control.

but anyway I digress. This really all should just be a hell of a lot less serious for the vast majority of us and gendered divisions in amateur sports is another arm of that problem imo.

view more: next ›