Are any of the posted platforms better or worse to subscribe to? Patreon is easiest but if there are any percentages taken out etc etc I'll switch it up 
ratboy
joined 2 years ago
Autism Rant
I do not understand how I can be unemployed but completely overwhelmed by every day tasks and self care, and having only 1-2 meetings per week with friends and no other fucking obligations. How am I going to survive going back to school or getting a full time job again? I cried because my partner was putting the dishes away and they clanked together just a bit too hard. I was doing pretty well with managing a routine for a while. I wouldn't do much else besides clean the house and shower every day but even doing that is too much. Trying to formulate responses to online conversations I've been having has been extremely difficult. I can't keep my thoughts in order and I feel extra scattered and then embarrassed because I can't coherently express myself. I feel like I'm totally unable to mask anymore in social settings. And it's like, I WANT to do these things!! I ENJOY doing these things!!! I'm just so tired all of the time now. And I don't really know how to climb out of this. Like literally, my weekly schedule looks something like this now:
- Daily: Do all of the dishes from the day before, pick up clutter. Make the bed. Try to feed self but usually just snack or avoid eating til my partner comes home. Try to shower but that's been more like very other day. Try to remember brushing teeth in the AM, I don't even try to make myself do it in the PM anymore.
- 1-2x weekly: Cook dinner or food prep. Some days I have a lot more energy so I exercise, read maybe, or do other chores but that hasn't been the case for the past week or two.
- Weekly: Org Meeting, 2ish hours usually. Try to hang out with a friend but this can be every other week. One bigger organizing/deep cleaning chore.
That's it. That's all I do, and even this is too much. I just wish I could not exist.
I think YouTube would be the toughest for me to quit as well. But I use it almost exclusively for music; I listen to a lot of underground/independent artists and its just so easy to find everything I want, and their algorithm works decently well so that I can discover or rediscover artists. Being able to use the app on my TV is another attractive part of it too. I admit I havent spent too much time in newpipe or any of the other alternatives; it would probably get easier if I made myself use it and ease in but I just don't!
Wonder if this all has been a psy op of sorts from the start. Accelerate destroying these agencies through DOGE, Trump kicks musk out so they can more discreetly do that same work, and now Trump will look like a savior to his voter base since it was Musk fucking them over
Jeez thats a huge cut from Patreon what the hell! Will definitely switch