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[–] 168 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (18 children)

These fuckers rate pink lady a 90 but give granny smith a 57 and lemonade apples a 63? Lost their fucking minds; pink lady are just decent and are only saved by their price point. Can't even compete with modern hit-or-miss honeycrisp. No way in fuck are they the third-best apple variety.

Yeah, no shit lemonade apples don't taste like you're drinking lemonade. That's a problem for like the first one you eat if you're really susceptible to marketing, after which you can just enjoy them for what they are: a solidly above-average apple with a unique background lemony flavor that are fun to mix in with other apples.

The granny smith, meanwhile, is a fantastic pie apple and a great sour apple, and most of the review is spent whining endlessly about slightly thick skin (literally good for you, arguably one of an apple's few advantages health-wise over other fruits) and dense flesh. This rating in particular is deranged.


Edit: Holy shit, they rated pink lady a 3.5/5 on tartness. In what universe?? In. What. Fucking. Universe. It's got practically zero tartness.

Also, complete double standards. Granny smith gets basically its entire review dedicated to denigrating dense flesh and thick skin, but pink lady with its thick skin and dense flesh is called "dense enough to hammer a nail" by its review, and yet these two factors are only treated as mediocre on the bar graph whereas granny smith got a fat fucking 0 for both. What a hypocritical load of shit.

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  • [–] 7 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    Granny Smith is an absolute disgrace ! As flaky as my [insert vulgarity here] and no bloody taste at all. Are y'all tastebuds used to eating raw corndog or what ? On the other hand Pink Lady is an absolute banger, sweet, juicy, firm and heavenly.

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  • [–] 34 points 3 days ago (5 children)

    I fucking love granny smith. Best apple ever. Juicy, slightly sour, a touch tart, perfectly refreshing on a hot summer day.

    I've always found pink lady to be weird. It's just so flavourless, the flesh consistency is like wet, gravelly sand, and it gets mushy so fast...

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  • [–] 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

    How would a pomaceous connoisseur such as yourself explain the difference between sour and tart to an uncouth swine such as myself?

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  • [–] 19 points 3 days ago* (1 child)

    What the fuck kind of pink ladies have you been eating (ooh err matron etc.)? They should be pretty tart, not the tartest apple in the world but 3.5/5 seems fair to me.

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  • [–] 14 points 3 days ago*

    What the fuck kind of pink ladies have you been eating

    Ones that are very slightly tart, and given the tight licensure, I'm not willing to grant loose quality control like I do for honeycrisp for why they don't live up to this alleged true potential.

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  • [–] 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)

    And Fuji were “Horse Food” and are now “Barely worth it”! Totally do not agree with their palate, love their dedication and sharpness!

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