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Your default routes are being set incorrectly. If you're using it as an exit node, then you need to make sure it's only being used as such for other clients on the Tailnet. You also need to make sure you're splitting your routes correctly so that the default route on your router isn't set for something on the Tailnet.
Generally speaking, if you're not familiar with networking and routing, you don't need to change the subnet settings if using a Tailscale client on your router. You also shouldn't be advertising routes from it for your own network, or else you could end up getting issues like you're seeing because your routing tables will be broken while Tailscale is active.
One more thing: Tailscale on your router doesn't make it a server, it's still a Tailscale client. You still need to setup your routing in the Tailscale server to make sure it's not duplicating routes like this.
I kind of follow what you're putting down.
I am not using an exit node. How do I go about splitting my routes?
What I want to achieve is 'normal' access for within the lan, as well as remote access over tailscale for things I cannot run tailscale on.
Tailscale is a group of clients on a Tailnet which are all equal, unless you tell it otherwise. That means you need to set the client you installed on your router as a subnet router.
Even then, if you're not familiar with networking, you'll probably have duplicate routes if you're not paying attention. The other option is to just install Tailscale on each server you want access to.
The router is set as a subnet router, that is how I am able to access other machines on my lan remotely.
I don't want to, and sometimes can't, install tailscale on every device I want remote access to.
So I may have duplicate routes- Does that explain the behaviour in my original post? And how would I go about avoiding that?
I could turn off subnet routing, and only turn it on when needed, but I'll be putting up a bunch of other services that will want to talk to each other- I'm assuming this will break whenever I turn subnet routing on.
Yes, if Tailscale on your router is advertising routes, and your other devices while connected to Tailscale are picking up those advertised routes, they won't be able to figure out how to get to your local network devices if both things are advertising the same routes.