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Why do men keep on having dates with me and then eventually leave? (lemmy.zip)

submitted 4 days ago by choihanna@lemmy.zip to c/askmen@lemmy.world

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So before anything I'm a trans woman (20), I do not claim to be a real woman or try to put women down or mock them. So please I'd like to ask you to abstein from comments about it because I already know what I am.

I've been trying dating apps because they feel safer than just dating people from your daily life when I was a teen (friends and classmates).

I do have a note on my profile that notifies these men about what I am before they can chat with me, some unmatch, others will say bad stuff before leaving, but another big amount stay. Everything goes fine we chat for a long time, we have a few dates, but in the end they all seem to lose interest at some point.

It just makes me so tired of meeting a lot of different men every month. I don't understand what they want.

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[–] Azzu@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

A lot of men have 0 sex, so you saying you have low sex drive still gives them more than 0 sex. But they would be settling for your amount of sex. If someone else can give them more, they will take that. And probably a lot of people have more sex drive than you. So they will entertain you while they have no other options, but as soon as an option with more sex drive opens up, they are dropping you.

You have to look specifically for people that don't really want/need sex, it is your obligation to figure that out.

Dating in general is a numbers game, you have to go through a lot of people to get what you want. But you have to know what you want and actively filter for it, if like right now, it seems you basically entertain everything who is friendly to you, you will have a lot of the other side canceling, not you canceling.