Are you kidding me, that worked?!

I mean, there's no color profile option in the current KDE Plasma display config for HDR on Wayland, but just for the crap of it I flipped their "efficient color precision" to the "accurate" setting, which gives you a performance warning and this thing went to deep sleep for several hours and recoverd once successfully.

I hate it here. I'm going to choose to believe this was a fluke and when I leave this thing on overnight it'll die in its sleep as it's been doing for a while.