▲ 698 ▼ Incompetent Assassin Misses Largest Head On Planet (thehardtimes.net) submitted 1 year ago by TxzK@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social 58 comments fedilink hide all child comments The attempted assassination of conservative activist Charlie Kirk is drawing condemnation across the board for the shooter's inability to hit a giant target.
[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 60 points 1 year ago (16 children) What I heard is: 200 yards 1 round expended 1 dead no collateral damage Sounds like a pretty competent assassination to me. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 16 child comments replies: [–] ScreamingFirehawk@feddit.uk 18 points 1 year ago Nice work 47 permalink fedilink source parent [–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (2 children) Gotta get maga back on his side and forget about Epstein somehow. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 child) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] qarbone@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago It's definitely what he would've wanted. Trust me, bro. Release the unaltered Epstein files for ol' bobbledead Chuckie Kirk. permalink fedilink source parent [+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 1 point 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (11 children) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 11 child comments replies: [–] PolydoreSmith@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (4 children) Oh yeah, how many people have you killed at 200 yards? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 20 points 1 year ago (1 child) Listen here you little shit, I'll have you know..... I don't feel like searching for it, but I think that pasta ends in with Vaporeon being the most compatible blah blah blah. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] dhaonna_aontaithe@midwest.social 7 points 1 year ago I looked it up for ya! Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more permalink fedilink source parent [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 1 point 1 year ago Nada permalink fedilink source parent [+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent [–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (4 children) Plugging somebody in a single shot like that is not easy to do. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago Not to mention getting away with it so far permalink fedilink source parent [+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 1 point 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent [+] thisguyfucks@sh.itjust.works 1 point 1 year ago (1 child) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago It's not whether we could, it's would you? This man or woman stepped up and took out the trash. Hero in my book. permalink fedilink source parent [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago Can only get better from here! permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (2 children) Gotta get maga back on his side and forget about Epstein somehow. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 child) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] qarbone@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago It's definitely what he would've wanted. Trust me, bro. Release the unaltered Epstein files for ol' bobbledead Chuckie Kirk. permalink fedilink source parent
[+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 child) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] qarbone@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago It's definitely what he would've wanted. Trust me, bro. Release the unaltered Epstein files for ol' bobbledead Chuckie Kirk. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago It's definitely what he would've wanted. Trust me, bro. Release the unaltered Epstein files for ol' bobbledead Chuckie Kirk. permalink fedilink source parent
[+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 1 point 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (11 children) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 11 child comments replies: [–] PolydoreSmith@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (4 children) Oh yeah, how many people have you killed at 200 yards? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 20 points 1 year ago (1 child) Listen here you little shit, I'll have you know..... I don't feel like searching for it, but I think that pasta ends in with Vaporeon being the most compatible blah blah blah. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] dhaonna_aontaithe@midwest.social 7 points 1 year ago I looked it up for ya! Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more permalink fedilink source parent [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 1 point 1 year ago Nada permalink fedilink source parent [+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent [–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (4 children) Plugging somebody in a single shot like that is not easy to do. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago Not to mention getting away with it so far permalink fedilink source parent [+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 1 point 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent [+] thisguyfucks@sh.itjust.works 1 point 1 year ago (1 child) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago It's not whether we could, it's would you? This man or woman stepped up and took out the trash. Hero in my book. permalink fedilink source parent [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago Can only get better from here! permalink fedilink source parent
[–] PolydoreSmith@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (4 children) Oh yeah, how many people have you killed at 200 yards? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 20 points 1 year ago (1 child) Listen here you little shit, I'll have you know..... I don't feel like searching for it, but I think that pasta ends in with Vaporeon being the most compatible blah blah blah. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] dhaonna_aontaithe@midwest.social 7 points 1 year ago I looked it up for ya! Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more permalink fedilink source parent [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 1 point 1 year ago Nada permalink fedilink source parent [+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent
[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 20 points 1 year ago (1 child) Listen here you little shit, I'll have you know..... I don't feel like searching for it, but I think that pasta ends in with Vaporeon being the most compatible blah blah blah. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] dhaonna_aontaithe@midwest.social 7 points 1 year ago I looked it up for ya! Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more permalink fedilink source parent
[–] dhaonna_aontaithe@midwest.social 7 points 1 year ago I looked it up for ya! Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more permalink fedilink source parent
[+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (4 children) Plugging somebody in a single shot like that is not easy to do. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago Not to mention getting away with it so far permalink fedilink source parent [+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 1 point 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent [+] thisguyfucks@sh.itjust.works 1 point 1 year ago (1 child) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago It's not whether we could, it's would you? This man or woman stepped up and took out the trash. Hero in my book. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago Not to mention getting away with it so far permalink fedilink source parent
[+] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 1 point 1 year ago* (last edited 4 months ago) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent
[+] thisguyfucks@sh.itjust.works 1 point 1 year ago (1 child) [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 1 child comment replies: [–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago It's not whether we could, it's would you? This man or woman stepped up and took out the trash. Hero in my book. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago It's not whether we could, it's would you? This man or woman stepped up and took out the trash. Hero in my book. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago Can only get better from here! permalink fedilink source parent