It takes a lot of introspection and work to get past culturally ingrained bigotry. I was a teenager in the 90s. Back then, and still through the 2000's via internet culture, everyone and everything was a "fag". I didn't recognize that it was a problem until way later than I should have, and I still almost say it sometimes. I don't have any problem with gay people. It's just a weird form of muscle memory. People don't understand that listeners don't know what their intentions are. They just know what you said. You gotta internalize that fact before you can change your language.

It's one of those things, is it worse that it's used without understanding that it was initially a racist term?