Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Go read the entire Gender Dysphoria Bible to start. You may be able to start HRT sooner than you think, depending on where you are. There are programs that may help, or specialized clinics that offer cheaper care. A therapist, if you can afford it, is highly recommended!
If you can't or don't want to medically transition, that's totally valid, too! You could socially transition. Choosing a new name can be super difficult (ask me how I know) and voice training is likewise difficult and a slow process, and neither of these require anything but you and your mind. Clothing helps with dysphoria, as well as makeup/hair/nails/jewelry or even just social groups and hobbies. Thrift stores are likely to have cheap options for beginners.
The other thing I would suggest is figuring out your support group. You do NOT have to do this alone. Whether it's online communities like this one (<3 Blåhaj!) or real world friend groups or support groups, go find peers or allies.
Welcome to the sisterhood! I hope you find yourself soon :)
Thanks, I'll have to take some time to read that. Looks kinda a very long document. The problems I forsee with HRT are cost and medical. I'm looking at getting a job in aviation, and my research into the FAA medical examinations says that those who have been on HRT for less than 5 years are usually deferred to the FAA for additional review. I also have the unfortunate luck of being in Texas, and still live with and an on my parents' insurance. Don't want my family knowing because it won't end well. I need to look at informed consent and what that actually means.
Jesus there's a lot to think about lol. I can't even think of a name for a DND character, finding a new name for me is going to be is going to take a while
You might still be able to use something like Planned Parenthood to get coverage outside of your parents' insurance. That said, this is going to be a recurring issue that you'll have to address at some point. Your primary care physician needs to know you're taking HRT because your blood tests will be... surprising if they don't. I don't know that to tell you about being in Texas. That's a tough one, and I had a conversation with my own management recently about never going to that state for any reason, even if it meant losing my job. I don't mean to scare you, but you should consider a move if you can figure it out. The GDB isn't so long a read, it's just really well organized. I devoured it in a day, not including the references. Those were saved for a later review. There's a ton more info out there if you need it! Everywhere from Lemmy communities, to Reddit subs, to several private websites tracking resources. I found this one particularly useful, even if some of it can be a little out of date: Transgender Map. I had lots of the same questions that you do now, though my situation is different since I'm "over the hill" in my 40s, but you could take a look at the replies to a post I made over a month ago askig similar questions: Advice on finding doctors Hang in there! There's always an option. You just have to decide which is right for you.
Yeah, I'm only going to be on the insurance plan for about a year more at most, so it's not like it's going to be forever. For primary care? I think the last time I visited a primary physician was like 12 years ago when I was 12. Haven't really needed to and haven't gotten sick aside from the occasional cold.
I do plan on moving eventually as well, I'll have to relocate for this job, but that could be in a few months or take up to a year, government being government. I have friends who are trans and they are also looking at moving.
There are also private HRT options like Folx and Plume, they're more expensive but don't require insurance (and they can ship the estrogen to you, I believe). (EDIT: +1 for Planned Parenthood, btw - the local trans women I know use PP for access to HRT without insurance.)
Being in TX is not ideal, but I don't know what to say other than you should move.
Regardless of your career, being trans is unavoidable, it's not a choice (maybe not how it feels right now, I get it), we know it's a genetic condition and the only treatment known to help is medical transition ... it's like worrying about whether you should get treatment for diabetes because the FAA has special requirements for diabetics who need to take insulin. It's not a realistic option to just not take insulin. While we live in a transphobic society that doesn't recognize the medical importance of HRT for trans folks, for many of us (and maybe you too), it's not that different of a comparison.
I didn't really appreciate this point until I was on HRT, though - I still balk at how long I lived without estrogen, it boggles the mind that I didn't die (I nearly did a few times, looking back). Before then, there was no way I would believe HRT was an essential medication.