Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

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Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

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[Rant] Why do people in the trans community never talk about voice surgery or acknowledge that it's necessary for some folks (discuss.online)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by Blazingtransfem98@discuss.online to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

NSFW 13 comments fedilink hide all child comments

(NSFW because I'm ranting due to voice dysphoria)

Like seriously, I was encouraged to just voice train for years to try and sound like a woman but even after 3 years of voice training nothing I tried helps and I still sound like a man who's imitating a woman's voice. My voice clearly doesn't and will never pass without surgical intervention but the worst part is that people have told me I don't need voice surgery and that my "fem" voice passes, bull fucking shit, I sent voice samples to a voice training sub on a throwaway account without telling them my gender just if it sounds masc or fem and most of them said my "fem" voice sounds masculine possibly slightly androgynous.

Also why would someone tell me my voice passes when it clearly doesn't? That's not being nice that's lying to me, and maybe you have the luxury of being openly and visibly trans but I don't, it can be a big problem if I speak up in the woman's room and the other person there is a TERF who hears me and thinks I'm a man in the ladies room.

I already know that I'm going to get voice training advice on this post and with all do respect, I don't want to hear it. If you read it online or heard it from a specialist I've probably tried it. The fact is voice training just doesn't work for everyone, some people's voices are just too damaged from hormone changes and mine is one of them 😔. I'll never sound like the girl I appear to be without an expensive surgery, and seemingly one that no one in this goddamn community ever wants to discuss or promote. I wouldn't even know about it existing if it wasn't for the fact that I googled it randomly out of curiosity to find out if it even exists.

Sorry for this rand, voice dysphoria is really bad today. I thought talking about it would make me feel better but it didn't really, just made me want voice surgery that much more 😭

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[–] Blazingtransfem98@discuss.online 2 points 2 months ago

You do have a point, when I said it's necessary I meant from my situation where cis passing is extremely important due to risk of violence and my fear of violence, my dysphoria is a huge part but fear of being beaten for not passing is also very big. It's happened before my picrew doesn't have an eyepatch for style, I was attacked for being trans and it left me permanently blind in my left eye, and I wear an eyepatch to cover up my non-functional left eye. I know that the pressure to cis pass isn't healthy and that in an ideal world it would only be about alleviating my dysphoria. It really sucks that I have to be afraid to speak in public because someone could clock me and get violent. I don't mean to put people in difficult situations I was just scared and wanted to know in the moment if my voice sounded alright or if I was at risk of being clocked.

I know that VFS isn't a magic bullet and I do know that training is still worthwhile, it has had an effect, it just isn't enough on its own to make me sound not masculine. Which is why I've said I need it in order to be able to pass.