this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
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[–] Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 137 points 4 days ago (8 children)

I don't understand women who fake it. They're just reinforcing bad sexual performance in their partners. It's shooting yourself in the foot.

[–] chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world 48 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

I had a fiance who I found out had been faking orgasms for over a year or two. Never communicated that she wasn't enjoying it or how I could improve, even if I asked. Then she cheated on me, but continued the relationship because I was paying all of her bills while she was unemployed. Glad I found out before tying the knot from her best friend.

Now I'm married to a different person. We communicate our likes and dislikes during and before sex after trying things. After 14 years, I can't imagine better sex with anyone else. Just getting better with time like a fine wine.

[–] zeroConnection@programming.dev 7 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Did I date your ex? That's exactly the story she told me as to why she cheated on her ex, "because he wasn't making her happy". Then on a separate occasion she told me she had never done anything wrong in her life, soon after we broke up, because apparently I was too judgemental.

[–] chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

My ex didn't say I was judgemental. She said I "wasn't there for her". Still no idea what the fuck that meant, because I drove 11 hours twice a month to go and see her, paid her bills, video called her every day, and thought I did a pretty good job of showing her love.

She also cheated on me the week before my 21st birthday party and then invited the guy she cheated on me with to my party. I even knew the guy and was semi-friends with them.

In retrospect, I'm glad she showed her hand before marriage, because then I'd have been extra fucked. Dodged a building-sized bullet and am much happier now.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

it means you were not what she wanted, but you were what she could get at the time.

she wanted the other guy.

[–] chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's the weird thing....when I went to break up with her, she told me she still wanted to get married and how she had planned to never tell me she cheated, just pretending it never happened.

I'm pretty sure it was just that I was financially stable and supporting her, while her side piece was broke. Which is nuts because I was in uni and didn't have a lot.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

it's super common man. many people have no morality, they just seek to exploit and use other people for their own gain.

I have been on the flip side. Several women at work hit on me and went out with me, only for me to find out they had a husband/boyfriend they lived with. They wanted me to bang them and have fun with them while their less attractive boyfriend at home paid their bills for them. One of these women actually married the guy, with a big FAT engagement ring on her finger. Poor dude. I met him once at work, he was not a good looking guy, but he bought her nice things and she liked that.

I think cheating is fucking gross, so yeah I never saw them again and basically didn't talk to them at work anymore. In their mind, I was the asshole, because they just wanted to have fun with me, and I didn't play along.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

your sex is a shitty person who hated you but was happy to use you for what you gave her.

This is the way.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 days ago

And the others age becoming sour and bitter 😁

I remember that saying about women & wine.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Too many people overlook the value of "communication skills" in a relationship

[–] YoureHotCupCake@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I don't understand how someone couldn't tell that their partner is faking it. Like you can literally see/feel when your partner is having an orgasm. Not to mention you should have already talked with your partner about what they like and what gets them off.

[–] Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I think that's a skill issue. If you've never experienced a partner having a real orgasm, you'll believe in fake ones.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

every orgasms differently dude.

same way they all have different voices.

Yes. In my previous comment, "a partner" means "a specific partner".

[–] Sculptor9157@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

But you still recognize a voice in the cacophony of soundscapes.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 0 points 3 days ago

what?

yeah and when i orgasm i stare into the void of existence too, or something.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

because they aren't honest people and they avoid conflict.

and they are getting other things they want more. and they will stick around until someone else comes along and offers them a better deal, that's when they cheat.

Is OP actually faking it though, like i dont instantly become soft when i slip out, im still very turned on for the few seconds im still out. I guess i think OP is talking about a huge overreaction.

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Some men react badly to not being told they're the best.

[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 13 points 3 days ago

True, some do. Some don't. Generalizations and such

[–] zeroConnection@programming.dev 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

WOW, can you imagine there being people with different tastes and personalities?

Don't tell me... Are all women also different??!

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

no. everyone knows all men and all women are the same as the last person you dated.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

try telling a woman she's bad in bed...

[–] GhostFace@lemmy.today -4 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You act like every single man out there would gratefully accept any criticisms. Especially regarding this.

There's just so much that can go wrong.

[–] NihilsineNefas@slrpnk.net 11 points 3 days ago

If the guy can't accept criticism without reacting negatively why would someone be intimate with them?

I get it if a guy would rather not get boo-ed during a bit of the horizontal tango, but surely their partner saying "do it like this" is an invitation to oblige

[–] Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's not boolean, either fake it or tell him he sucks. You can do neither.

[–] GhostFace@lemmy.today -3 points 3 days ago (3 children)

You said you didn't understand. I gave you a reason and you insulted me.

Thanks for showing the world how insecure you are.

[–] GirthBrooksPLO@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Yeah I'm looking for the insult and I'm not finding it boss

[–] FrostyTheDoo@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

Where was the insult?? They disagreed with you. I wouldn't be calling other people insecure if you took that as an insult.

[–] Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

How did I insult you?

Edit: maybe you read it as "you personally are incapable of doing either"? What I meant was "doing neither is an option". I apologize if it was ambiguous.

[–] GhostFace@lemmy.today 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Doing neither is an option is a lot different than saying "You can do neither."

I take it you're not a native speaker then. I already apologized and you understand what I meant now, yes?

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Because some people, including women, will never learn. It's better to be not alone and sexually unsatisfied than alone and sometimes sexual satisfied.

[–] Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 17 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Those aren't the only two options. There's this thing called honest communication.

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago

some people

You are correct, however sometimes things are easier said than done.

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

What’s that? Never heard of it

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago