I'm still recovering, and at the moment going through another stressful period that I try to manage as well as I can, so it won't completely wreck me.

I realized I need to start changing the way I think and react emotionally to be able to recover (cptsd-related), so I found a couple resources, youtube therapists and podcasts that I'd learn from. I also found it useful to understand more about zen and philosophy behind mindfulness (I'm allergic to superficial "quick fixes", I need to understand WHY things are supposed to work and what lead to developing the practice). Basically learning how to recognize and listen to my personal needs, what cues the body gives, where stress and anxiety gets "stored" in my body and so on. I realized I wasn't able to stop and that's what I really needed to do. I'm used to just forcing myself to do what I think I'm expected to, completely ignoring what's actually good for me. Plenty of shame and fear to tackle.

I decided I need to do at least light physical activity every day, so I started taking "mental health evening walks" and observing nature while at it. I like to listen to these therapists' podcasts while I'm walking to calm myself and minimize hearing traffic noise.

All in all learning about my sensory needs and minimizing sensory stress has been important. Also realizing what kind of social situations drain me and being conscious about how much I can take. It's painful to have to give up on good and enjoyable things because they too drain me.

Then I started exploring what kind of social activities I'd enjoy and tried going to some groups. Peer support has been especially important!

Half a year later I became curious about possible study opportunities and got into one course. Being in a structured (social) setting where I could learn from interesting topics helped me a lot!

For me the most obvious signs that I'm getting better are: less sensory stress, less emotional dysregulation, more battery for social things and not feeling exhausted all the time. The progress is slow though and I think I'm just in the beginning about learning what's good for me and balancing my life so that it supports my needs.