this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2026
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i saw some people say its because they are sorrounded by yes men and nobody corrects them when theyre tweaking but theres no way thats all that goes into it.

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[–] amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I agree 100% and part of the problem with presuming that they share a particular "disturbing" look is that this can easily be projected onto the lower classes, as in the film trope of "that person is quiet and distant so they must be a secret psychopath / serial killer" (never mind that documented psychopaths actually tend to be good at blending in, so you can't really tell by looks alone, or that the reality of "resting [jerk word] face" and a withdrawn look can be anything from a grumpy mean-spirited person to someone who is ASD or whose face just kinda rests like that because muscles and facial genes aren't all the same, or more reasons beyond that).

In fact, it's probably the case that the majority of people who look "off" socially are on the autism spectrum and look that way because they genuinely don't know how they're supposed to look and didn't pick up on it the way others do.

Or like to use myself as an example, inattentive ADHD symptoms. I can easily space out or just feel kinda overwhelmed by all the sensory shit going on around me and want to tap out. I can try to "fake" around this by modulating how I look consciously, but it takes extra energy to do and then I'm going to tire out socially even faster. And if I don't try to modulate it and especially if I'm tired too, I may just look like I'm sternly staring at nothing.

I think some of this is cultural too because I've heard there are some cultures where it's pretty normal to not be all smiley about things. Yankee culture seems to be one of the most hyper smiley from everything I've heard and I suspect the prevalence of relying on caffeine plays a part. Some people probably end up looking creepy because their normal mode is not smiley and hyper, and they're trying to keep up with the culture for business/image reasons/etc.

[–] CriticalResist8@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He's a popular trope, but John Wayne Gacy worked as a clown entertaining birthday parties. He was well-liked in his community at the time. But here's the important point: seeing the pictures now, knowing what we know about him, is what paints them in a different light. What we consider to be a 'dead look' is itself a product of our consciousness, consciousness being social and thus subject to the base-superstructure. We are not any more enlightened than previous generations nor have we somehow found the bottom pits of 'inhuman look' by living in capitalism (or conversely what it means to be truly alive and human). In other epochs an untrustworthy demeanor had its own codes and looked specific to that society.

[–] amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 1 week ago

That's a great point. Projection and context are powerful. An example I can personally recall from memory is: before I knew about what Bill Cosby had done, I thought his silly style/demeanor was endearing. At some point after I knew, I remember seeing a clip where (IIRC) he's going into court and there's media on him trying to get pictures and such and as he walks by he goes "hey hey hey!" to the camera. Like the "Fat Albert" thing. And seeing him doing that goofiness in the context of the seriousness of the situation turned it on its head. What was endearing before looked, in that moment, like "teehee I'm getting away with this and I'm too rich at this point for you to do much."

But generalizing into physical appearance as bad rather than deeds is part of how racism functions and turns "one person did documented wrong" into "others who look like they are probably doing so as well." Even in spite of systemic racism, Bill Cosby was beloved by many. By appearances alone, you'd never guess. But once you know, then you start going back and being like "well there were signs..." And it's like, well were there? Maybe there were in some cases, but how obvious were the signs?

I think a large part of why abusers get away with they do is not because of obvious missed signs that people were looking for, but because of 1) severely lacking interest in keeping an eye on others and the kind of relations they are having with each other. Which I'd attribute largely to hyper individualism and alienation in current day. And 2) a cultural tendency to protect and elevate abusers instead of confronting them. Which ties into the broader issue of systemic exploitation and how abuse is not an issue of individuals acting out, but one of a whole system culturing abusive behavior and sending it to the highest halls of power.