I'm turning 31though I am not sure how old you are.
To be clear, I don't want to start accepting narcissistic people as being neurodivergent or whatever (not that you seem to be saying that but a lot of people out there seem to think that narcissists are" just another neuro-type" and while I don't believe it, I don't think I care at this point, ngl)
I usually look up academic papers and articles on Autism and ways to work with my mind rather than fight it.