I've done that off and on for most of my life. Have you ever tried meditation? It takes some effort and some practice but you can get to the point where you can examine your brain's thoughts just as they form (you can't stop your brain from doing the thinking things, but you can observe). There have been times when that has allowed me to realize things were bothering me that I wasn't aware of and to make sense of them. I learned I have a history of fairly extreme avoidant behavior. I will do almost anything to prevent feeling difficult feelings. Didn't realize I was doing it for most of my life. The side effect of doing that sometimes is random anxiety and panic attacks. To unpack that stuff you might find a therapist who is skilled in attachment styles and maybe EMDR as well.