Hi! I've been extremely tired this week and nearly forgot that I was hosting one so I'm writing this last minute! I couldn't think of anything so I'm going to write about one of my hamsters who is not Biggs; Meredith
Meredith was another hamster of mine from a few years ago during the early days of COVID, and she was the absolute sweetest little creature I had ever met. Very friendly, very gentle. She loved exploring anywhere I put her into and never bit me ~~okay she did once ever~~. She was an absolute sweetheart and bundle of love and was with me during some of the rougher parts of my life
She unfortunately died very suddenly out of the blue one day at a terribly young age showing no symptoms of anything wrong with her prior, which breaks my heart to this very day
I never had her as long as any other hamster of mine but I don't think I had any other hamster touch my heart in quite the same way. I miss you, girl
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coming out/worrying
Out to almost all my friends now. Meant to be all of them but ran out of time. He knows I want to have a serious convo though. Who let me do this ๐ญ I don't know how to navigate this. It's never been modeled for me. I don't know any trans people irl idk how to do this. I can kinda tell they haven't either. I really hope things don't become awkward. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. Actually living as a trans person, being out and stuff...Also people have offered to help me but I don't know what I need from them. Or what I could ask for (like something gender affirming) that wouldn't feel super awkward. Especially thinking about my cisf friend.
Wanted to put these thoughts to words for a few hours and now I'm super tired, actually just fell asleep for like an hour, I hope this makes sense.
Oh also and like they've said they're supportive, and one has definitely been trying I feel like, I still worry about what they actually think of me ๐ข
Could ask them to use your name/pronouns in safe places.
Could keep femme clothes at their houses to change into.
Can ask them to store HRT, which is probably safer than having it at your place.
Yea true, I need to do that.
What kind of fem clothes though? I was trying to think of something that wouldn't feel embarrassing to be seen in ๐
Transition is embarrassing a lot of time.
I think you'll need to be content with the idea that you'll be embarrassed some of the time while experimenting. Especially because you haven't worn women's clothes before, you're sure to pick things that might look silly.
You can aim for more androgynous stuff, which will be less embarrassing because they're closer to guy clothes, but I think you shouldn't limit yourself in that way. Just get stuff you think is cute and try it out :]
I don't know how to be content with it. It doesn't feel like a "normal" level of embarrassing either- it honestly feels like the worst thing imaginable. I know it isn't, and I might push through anyway but, I don't know how to describe it. But like actually, how do I be content with it?
Just have to do it.
I bet two weeks ago, you couldn't imagine coming out to people.
A month ago, I couldn't imagine using femme voice full time.
But here we are~
I am so happy that you made this step!
Very
but thank you!