I'm mainly joking, but it's common for catholics to talk about how other catholics aren't really following the pope's directives/theology. Like, if you ask the average catholic in New England how they feel about gay or trans people, or how they feel about abortion, you're probably gonna hear normal lib answers. If you ask a catholic in Texas how they feel about the death penalty, they're probably gonna answer like a normal conservative. A hardcore trad-cath would call both of those people "cafeteria catholics"

Every religion has variation in beliefs, but it's kinda hard to justify within catholic theology. But that's OK because if you're catholic, you can just borrow from Protestant theology. According to that theology, you don't need a priest to have a relationship with God. God can forgive you without you having to confess to a priest. You can divorce. You can remarry (maybe the church won't recognize the second marriage, but the taxman won't have a problem with it). The church is actually OK with this, as long as you don't preach about it, keep going to church sometimes, and bring your kids to get baptized. Fill out the paperwork, and they'll let you be catholic even if your beliefs are identical to Martin Luther's (that's how the church functions everywhere, not just the US)

Put another way, most protestants think of John 3:16 as the essence of christianity, and a lot of catholics agree. That's where we get the idea that a horrible person on their deathbed can accept Jesus into their heart and be forgiven for all their sins. According to catholics, that person actually needs a priest to do last rites or confession to be forgiven. That's not to say the person is doomed to hell without a priest, but they're definitely not skipping purgatory like someone that got last rites