Autism and narcissism (multiverse.soulism.net)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by to c/autism@lemmy.world
 

Autism, as a word, is Latin for self-ism. It was named in the early days of Psychiatry by doctors who didn't understand what it was like for us. But what they noticed was, we seemed more preoccupied with ourselves than other people, so they called the condition self-ism in Latin.

Narcissism comes from the Greek myth of Narcissus, who was cursed by Nemesis to fall in love with his reflection (see Conon, Ovid). So Narcissism is also named after this idea of being preoccupied with yourself. And there hasn't been as much social progress on NPD, so a lot of people still think the same way today.

Etymologically speaking, the disorders are named pretty much the same. Early psychiatrists thought that these two conditions looked pretty similar to one another from the outside. And as someone with both autism and NPD, I get it, mate.

I've got reduced cognitive empathy from My autism, and the ability to voluntarily suppress affective empathy from My NPD. Affective empathy is the ability to sense others' feelings, and cognitive empathy is the ability to sense others' thoughts. So neurotypicals literally have a (limited) ability to read minds that we autistics don't get.

And a lot of the research literature says people with NPD can't sense others' feelings, but that's not My experience. I can choose not to feel others' feelings, when I want. I think I picked up the ability from being abused and guilt tripped as a kid. Now that I'm grown up, I get to choose whether I'm susceptible to attempts to abuse Me with My empathy. For example, a few weeks ago My bio mum told Me that My dead sister was abused by our adoptive parents, while I was the "golden child". My sister went out to suicide, so I think most egotypicals would get survivor's guilt from that. But I have NPD to protect Me from that kind of abuse, I'm used to shrugging that stuff off.

So there are lots of differences between the two. But also similarities. NPD is a mix of genetics and trauma, while autism is purely genetic. Both give Me meltdowns sometimes, when sensory stress or ego stress get to be too much. I have times when I have to mask both of them, and times when I don't and I might be accepted, or I might get in social trouble.

And both of them give Me a really acute sense of just how fake all of society is. Both of them motivate Me to defy social norms. Both give Me a strong justice sensitivity. I can't stand to see something I think is wrong or unfair.

So anyway, ask Me anything about living with NPD! I want to chat and make My experience of neurodivergence understood!

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[–] [S] 4 points 1 week ago (3 children)

No, I'm happy to Me and proud of who I am. I grew NPD for a good reason, it helped Me survive abuse. Now I want to use it as a motivating force to live a fun, interesting, and ethical life. I don't want to have a neurotypical ego, I want to be Me.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    Well my trauma mostly comes from someone with NPD. Someone who never doubts themselves, who never understands others, because everything is interpreted through their own experience

    Personality disorders are not neurodivergence. You can be different...I sure as hell am. But personality disorders are not being different, they're a collection of antisocial traits

    There's no good endings to a personality disorder. It'll tear apart the people closest to you over time and leave you alone, unable to understand that your own actions have brought you there

    Please, do be you. But you have to have a heart. You have to work to understand others. You can't live an ethical life while basking in misunderstanding of others

    You're not too far gone. You don't have to give up anything. All you have to do is to seek to understand others - it will make your life and the lives of those around you incomparably better

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  • [–] [S] 7 points 1 week ago*

    One of the reasons I got sent to a child psychologist is because I wouldn't shut up about global warming. As a kid, I couldn't stop thinking about the big problems facing society. As an adult, I went into the environmental industry, monitoring pollution.

    Egotypicals can't control their empathy, but you people do have selective empathy too. How much time do you spend thinking about starving kids in Africa? Egotypicals experience empathy when people with emotions are right in front of them. I can choose when to experience empathy, and I've always used that choice to focus on what's most important.

    I'm vegan, carfree. Because I can't justify the harm that petrol and meat cause. Most egotypicals don't have empathy for cows, or empathy for the one billion refugees that climate collapse will cause by 2050. I've volunteered with Extinction Rebellion and campaigned for a new form of anarchism. My entire life is designed around helping people. All of My goals are to make the world a better place.

    And some part of that praxis is because of My NPD. Because I choose when to have empathy and deploy it strategically to do the most good. I don't just have empathy for the kids in Africa. And Palestine. I have empathy for the prawns that get their eyes plucked out to make them breed faster for the seafood industry. When I heard about that fact, I went and looked up a video to see for Myself, and watch that prawn's pain. I wanted to know how committed I should be to not eating seafood. I wasn't afraid to learn the answer, because if it was too terrible to even think about, I knew I could modulate My empathy to the level that best supports praxis. An egotypical might repress that memory and keep eating prawns.

    I can, have, and do use My neurodivergence for good. My NPD will always be a part of who I am and that's okay. Our community is not all bad.

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