Cheese wins because we don’t ignore small tables, as a simple majority system would do
Why do small tables deserve this special protection from being ignored? No other minority group is getting such protection. Minority races are ignored. Minority cultures are ignored. Minorities with special dietary needs - like vegetarians, the very minority you have used to justify inflating the voting power of the small tables - are ignored. What's so special about being seated in a smaller table that warrants silencing the majority just so that you - a minority - won't be ignored?
And yes, I understand that this is just an allegory, and in real life there can be reason to give this protection to small states, reasons that are not reflected when we think of them as tables. But please remember that the real reason in real life was to allow slavery states to utilize their slaves' voting powers without actually allowing them to vote.
Not necessarily.
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Note that I said "in every single group", and I said you because you said "will ensure every group".
I should have emphasized it...
If the tables were assigned randomly, or if a computer grouped the tables by similar interest, age, etc, we’d get something more like a fair vote.
Another way to "get something more like a fair vote" is to count the votes by person and not by table. Actually, this is not just "something more like" a fair vote - it's the very idea (as in "Plato's Theory of Ideas") of a fair vote. This what we compare any drawing of district lines to determine how fair it is.