Mine is similar. I adore music but I can’t lock into a melody to save my life. Songs I love & have heard a hundred times before—I’ll try to hum or whistle along with them and I’m all over the place. It’s like I’m purposely trying to sound bad — but that’s actually the very best I can do.

I can relate, I'm an avid listener to music. I've tried playing guitar and piano but I cannot manifest it somehow.

Music theory ditto. I usually love nerdy mathy content but somehow music theory finds no place to, well... resonate in my brain.

Try trackers, in particular Renoise (it's free to use as a demo, without exporting, though there are workarounds for that). At the first glance, it's a spreadsheet where you place samples playing notes. In practice, it works great for people like me who can barely tell what different notes sound like, much less feel intervals and stuff. You just put your samples such that you get the rhythm you want, and don't forget to twiddle the effects because they make a big difference. Of course, this works best for dancey electronic music.

Do you find music not amusing, or just can't "sync up" with others' peoples opinions of it?