This isn't a swashbuckling pirate, this is your Uncle Jim who worked a gig at some kid's vaguely pirate-themed birthday party

There's not a single arrg bone in this guy's body. He's more of a "how're ya doin' kids, it's me, the pirrrrate" kind of guy, you know?

Like, this dude just does NOT have the energy nor the strength to fire a cannon. You really think HE'S gonna take on a kraken? Nah, dude's never even seen a seagull

You know where this dude lives? Probably some town in Iowa, near a Cracker Barrel

It's in his eyes. I can tell

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[–] [S] 5 points 3 days ago

Sheesh, pirates in general are just getting absolutely nerfed

Somehow, this feels like a subliminal message

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