A rather free love friend of a friend was trying to fuck guys from every sign of the zodiac, and she hadn't gotten to Cancer yet. As an amateur astronomer now, and a child who was raised by a lunatic into all sorts of woo, I declined on principle.

Look, have your fun. But woo is a relationship red flag for me. You cannot remind me of my mother if you want me turned on. I haven't gotten laid countless times. I don't need or want sex that badly. I desire someone I can trust to keep a firm grasp on reality.