I used to go to take drinks with my wife co workers after her shift at a restaurant. They were pretty cool, we smoked pot and talked about random shit. I work in insurance, so my coworkers are a bunch of finance bros or libs, so I always ditch them when they invited me.
this post was submitted on 31 May 2025
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chapotraphouse
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because hanging out with your co workers or boss still feels like work, and work sucks and is alienating
This was the exact thought I spent the last few minutes trying and failing to put into words.
Any time I'm around coworkers, I'm being judged. That's how social interaction works. In this case, that judgment will affect whether or not I continue to have my job. I cannot relax and enjoy myself when my ability to buy food and pay rent is at stake.
This 💯
Not to misuse a term but it essentially feels like continued masking, it takes mental effort and is absolutely not relaxing.
My yearly work dinners with the company owners feel like a hostage event
Say the wrong thing, be unemployed for years. Sounds like a great time.
Probably through the trauma-bonding, I became good friends with many of my coworkers and we'd occasionally hang out, sans boss.
So it wound up hurting on a surprisingly emotional level when a round or two of burnout chased off so many work-friends I'd known for years. We've all been so busy at our respective jobs now, it kinda sucks.
I'm not about to work a entire shift then spend hours worth of my money on watered down drinks all the while trying not to overshare with people I tepidly tolerate.
I feel so seen.
the thing that made work enjoyable
consuming alcohol
Nah mate
Drinking with work people has never worked out for me and only served to make work more annoying. The closer to blue coller work and "unskilled" work you get the more enjoyable that was. The closer to white coller office work, the less enjoyable.
That's just my experience though. Regardless, I don't drink anymore anyway.
I think this is totally right. If you're in a "white collar job" then the dynamic has the potential for backbiting and power games (so the drinking becomes networking, work, etc) versus being fully clocked out
People used to relish getting sloshed with their colleagues after work. What happened?
No they didn't.
One out of 10 people did. 8 went with it because they had to. 1 would just do their own thing instead and only managed to keep their job if they were better at it than the others.
I’m of two minds about this.
On the one hand, getting to know your coworkers personally outside of work is really important for organizing, and also (speaking from experience) very fulfilling (provided your coworkers aren’t all just total assholes)
On the other hand, it’s too bad alcohol culture is so entertwined with this, and I say this as an unrepentant booze hobbyist. Hopefully we can collectively find an after work and/or lunchtime social culture that allows space for people who don’t partake in alcohol
my office's cooler people do a music thing now and then, along with some people who left that they were also cool with. it seems fun though I've avoided going for concerns over only having work friends
Because I’m too busy having a life outside of work to go to Work 2
Bars are fucking expensive?
People have commitments and responsibilities in their personal life and can't get drunk all the time?
People are driving and can't get drunk?
How can people afford to drink in bars even semi-regularly? A happy hour pint is still $6 and most of the "happy hours" are only on during work hours or later in the evening
Yet another fucking article that blames a younger generation for killing a "tradition" / "killing the vibe" on something was mostly bullshit to begin with.
Excuse me while I get my tiniest violin out.
Yeah because 40 years ago if you went drinking with your idiot boss and pretended to laugh at his jokes about Italians there was a chance you'd get a promotion. Nowadays there's no point in sucking up, no one's getting anything out of it. Your job is precarious and your boss probably doesn't even know who you are.
Drink at lunch.
Problem solved.
people aren't going to bars because there's a pandemic, right?
As a young person who likes drinking, drinking with people from work is not something I find appealing at all. Also, bars are expensive in general so I rarely find myself going out to drink anyways, rather grab a bunch of cheap shit from the liquor store and host or bring it to a friend's house who is hosting.
Edit note: I also have never really felt the appeal of needing to make work friends or socialize hard with people from work. I don't outright reject it and I like most people I work with but I was also able to maintain most of my friends from middle school, high school, and college while also having hobby-specific friends I'm more likely to hang out with due to overlapping interests most of my classmates in college didn't become friends except from my language minor where the was a deep connected passion. I mostly found friends from that and luck with roommates during college and haven't really needed to make new friends since my junior year of college.
but I was also able to maintain most of my friends from middle school, high school, and college while also having hobby-specific friend
what the fuck dark wizardry is this
They might still be in their 20s and everyone hasn't moved away or had kids yet.
Different strokes. I’m pushing 40 and still have my core group of friends from elementary/high school and my group from undergrad. Most of us have kids too. Then again, I can count all of them with just two hands. We truly view each other as an extended family.
I do think some tend to have better odds with this over others. I do expect some of these connections to falter a bit once some of my friends have kids (I personally don't want any) but some have managed 20 years already, and due to circumstances are likely to last longer so unless something truly tragic happens I expect them to.
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I also have never really felt the appeal of needing to make work friends or socialize hard with people from work
this will lead to communism
I get you’re taking the piss, but isn’t work under the western neoliberal service economy especially isolating? Not many people are working closely with a consistent set of people who all live in the same local area. Not saying you shouldn’t socialize with people at work though, please do that. Fight the atomizing forces of capital.
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Depends very much on who and what kind of job. When I delivered pizzas, a pint with the other drivers was a nice unwind - complain about work, talk sports, eat some snacks.
I've also enjoyed colleague drink nights with my fellow teachers, though it's a bit more subdued, especially when the boss joins in.
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Isnt drinking a lot less common among younger people in general? Seems like a good thing to me.
Yeah they mention that Gen Z drinks significantly less, you also have to assume people need to be financially stable to spend a couple hundred dollars a month at weekly bar nights.
You folks make me sad sometimes. Just be normal and grab a drink with your crew once and a while, it wont kill you. It makes the job easier all around. You'll feel more comfortable asking for and receiving favors from each other. It builds camaraderie. It gives a chance to organize or at the least vent. Just be normal.
I can't afford it and I don't drink. I get what you are saying, but 'just be normal' comes off as ableist bullshit advice though and doesn't mean anything. It's normal for me and everyone I know to not go to a bar after work.
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As others said it Def depends on the job. At my last two retail jobs I met my only real current friends. We would go bowling or karaoke or go play pool. One time a few of us even went and took a bunch of shrooms on Halloween. Certainly depends on the coworkers.
It's also a good opportunity to talk shot about the boss and talk about organizing and shit.
My nearly successful union drive at my old job started in a bowling alley over a couple pitchers of beer.
Depends on context, workplace vibes can vary dramatically. Some you might feel comfy broaching hanging out with, others you might not.
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I like going to happy hour and drinking with my coworkers. 
Back when I worked at a restaurant, we'd go out to someones place and drink, smoke, and the like. But now I work in an office, and offices are isolating by design and desire, so there's no real opportunity
Was gonna say, I hang out with some of my co workers on my off days and also have started jamming with some now that I have an electric kit and a bunch of practice amps and can jam at a reasonable apartment volume. But I work in a kitchen and one that has managed to retain staff super well. Our newest person has been here for 2 years.
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Everyone is more stressed.
We have new ways of dealing with our alienation which isnt social
Also cant help but picture that senior manager mentioned in the article as a turbo boomer 
Doesnt understand why the peons under him dont want to spend their personal time with their boss who is going to have to make the "hard decision" one day and lay them off
Because I don't drink, have money, or want to get COVID.
most jobs I've had I avoided happy hour. even when I was young and liked my colleagues, I would at most make a one-drink appearance and then split. there might have been a time where it could have been more, but frankly it was a recipe for a shitshow: inebriated people, no public transport, car brained commutes. the amount of people who "had DUIs" on their record was not good.
the biggest inducement to attend would be if there was someone you were attracted to and wanted to get to know in a less professional setting, but that is a whole other minefield.
frankly the most responsible thing was to just go home after work and chill with your friends and neighbors. it's so much cheaper, even if you're hosting. and of course, safer and accommodating if you're a weed person.
that's just own personal experience, but I suspect this phenomenon has lots of factors. lots of places I worked I fuckin hated the bosses or maybe a particularly swollen assholes, so no chance it hell I'd go to anywhere they might be. and some places I worked alongside undocumented people who would rather save the money and not be given shit by local reactionaries. cops have wide latitude to fuck with people for "public drunkenness" or disorderly conduct, so if one belongs to a generally shit upon group, it's gonna be more relaxing to figure out something at home or in a private residence. 2020 showed a lot of people how brazenly violent cops can act with total impunity, so why would I spend any more time in their sphere than absolutely critical?
with covid, for every place that locked down, plenty of venues went full plague mode and operated, filling themselves with the sort of people that don't give a fuck.
it's hard to shake the vibe that public venues today are absolutely packed with, well, those same assholes.
I don't like my co-workers. Why would I hang out with them, ever.
The only happy hour times that I enjoyed was during grad school going to a bar with friends and few lab mates (as we knew each other for some time at that point and were close) but even back in 2015 it wasn't cheap so it's probably even more ridiculous in pricing. Now after having worked in industrial labs, it just became another part of work where I still felt I was being evaluated in some way so I stopped going to happy hours and bars in general. On the other hand, alcohol is terrible for your body and maybe it was a blessing in disguise in my case as I rarely drink these days.
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