Ask Lemmy

He left you unattended in his apartment? Bold.

Don't just stay there all day. Go home. Make plans for a third date. That's weird to just stay there.

Did you discuss wether you'd stay? Did he just leave without saying anything? I mean if I invited someone in and left the presumption is that they're invited until I kick them out. As for speed, you do you. Don't make any decisions you can't take back, don't have a child, get married, unprotected sex, don't share your banking info yet, etc. Other than that, if there's a problem than you guys can just talk it out. He will let you know if it's moving too fast for him.

So long you both are comfortable sharing how your feelings when things arent so hot. Speed blurs red flags!

Nobody can tell you what the right move is but I can tell you what would have worked on me if I was the guy and I had left you at home.

Make the soup and leave it for him on the counter with a note about how you had a great time but sadly had to leave. Let the man miss you and appreciate your gesture at his own pace and on his own.

Matters if you are 40 or 25.

The older you are, life is to short to delay. But keep your mind open for the sides you don't know of him yet.

Too fast IMO. You're setting yourself up for a less than ideal situation. The guy is going to come home tired from work to find you there, not even having had the time to take a shit and get cleaned up before beginning to think about wanting to do anything with anyone. Everyone is different for sure, but from a pure practical view you're overstaying your welcome.

85mph is the U.S. speed limit. I wouldn't go above that

Depends how fast everyone else is going. If I'm the only one on the road, then I'm going the speed limit. Don't want any cops using me to fill their quotas. If someone zooms by at 15 over the limit, I call them a canary, checking the coal mine for speed traps. If they don't get pulled over going 75 in a 60, then I can safely go 65.

If there's a bunch of cars all speeding, then I'll keep pace with them unless they're going over 70. At that point it just isn't worth it to exponentially increase the energy of a collision while logarithmically reducing the time it takes to get to my destination. I'm not going to double my kinetic energy so I can save 15 seconds on my trip.

...wait, I think I misunderstood the question

Marrying on the first date is too fast.

As long as you don't give off overly attached girlfriend meme vibes.

So did you go out with PugJesus or SatansMaggotyCumFart in the end?

In my opinion what you are describing is way too fast. If someone did that when dating me, I would run.

But I'm not part of your situation, so my opinion doesn't matter. What matters is that it works for the two of you. You are fine with it, so that's covered. So my only advice would be maybe check with him if he is comfortable with it. Or be prepared to deal with the consequences if he isn't.

I've bought my friends meals and given food in charity (I don't cook that well), I don't consider that "too fast", that's just regular prosociality. You already fucked him, that's the fast part, so idk how much "faster" you can go, lol.

Can’t answer this without a better story and some history for both of you.

The boiler plate answer here is too fast…but there’s no correct answer.

Above the speed limit is to fast.

My wife moved in with me in the like week 2 of dating, been 11 years now, roll with it

This is too fast. But, sometimes it works out, so you'll get people talking about those times. I think when it works out, it's just luck. Better to hold back and get to know him better, I think that's the best plan, don't you? Really?

How did it go with him going to work?

Did he just leave you there or did he tell you to stay?

As other users are pointing out it’s definitely too fast for most relationships but like, do you want what most relationships have and do that or do you want to do what feels right?

Depending on how the situation went in the morning then getting home to a “wife” it’s chicken noodle soup sounds AMAZING. It could also sound awful to him but at least you will know that maybe you aren’t on the same page.

You said going with the flow has turned out amazing, I say keep going and see where it goes. Maybe it leads to nowhere except some embarrassment, maybe it leads to something truly special. I’d rather have a chance at that

Good luck and keep me posted :)

That is all good. Do you have a key to his place so you can lock the door, go home get cleaned up and then get all the stuff you need for cooking.

If you want to add a bit of speed bump, go make the soup at home and have him come to your place.

My opinion is that only your opinion matters in such things. Just be safe and take it easy if things won’t work out.

P.S. comments here are weird AF. Folks acting like she sign contract with blood, totally moved in forever and can’t go home anytime

I think as long as you have no expectations, going with the flow is great.

How fast is too fast, in your opinion?

Depends what's your objective.

A quick fun? Why waste time if that's your thing? Getting married for life, raising many children, and becoming happy grandparents? Maybe you could take it more slowly. Like I mentioned, it all depends the objective.

C^2. That's impossibly fast.

When you know you know sometimes! Me and my wife were a bit like this.

Cooking is always welcome.

C

2nd date, and you are moving in? Either you have insane chemistry, or you are way too fast.