I never fully connect to anyone and I always assume that eveyone I know can and will eventually backstab me
WomensStuff
Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.
Rules…
- Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women's community is a good fit for them.
- Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
- Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
- No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.
- New accounts or users with few comments may have their posts removed to prevent spam and bad-faith participation.
I protect myself from emotional harm by calling out bullshit right away. I'll give benefit of the doubt, to start, ("hmm? Did you mean it like that?"), but I no longer tolerate people putting me down to make themself feel better/superior.
I'd rather be seen as "rude" than be a doormat or a punching bag.
I'm too valuable for that nonsense. And you are, too. 🫵
I find ageing has REALLY helped with this. I don't care so much what people think or if I fit in, I'm me and I'm ok with that. I also find nice people always like me cos I'm also nice, so people that dislike me or mistreat me often just aren't nice people at all.
I'm waaaayyy better at spotting bullies and good people nowadays. I stay away from the bad, don't tell them anything and join the good for safety. That really helps.
I've got better techniques for dealing with things, for example "can you explain that joke?" when someone is being nasty.
It's not easy but I'm better at dealing with it!
Yes. Feigning incomprehension of a hateful joke or statement and forcing them to come out and say it is a powerful technique for putting bigots and their ilk on their back feet.
And if you can then deliver a haymaker that's extra-satisfying!
Aging does help! It's pretty freeing to care so little what others think.
I have the opposite problem: I have a hard time letting others get close to me. I'm very emotionally closed-off and as a result most of my friendships have been pretty surface-level. How the heck do you figure out who is safe to be emotionally vulnerable with?
It is hard, I go by my gut instinct and it's generally right nowadays. I don't trust easy though
I tend to ask the people close to me if they'd be interested in joining me for xyz and seeing how they react.
- Ex: "Would you be interested in watching the Barbie movie with me?"
Asking for small favors and trading back and forth is also a good method I know to tell who's more trustworthy and dependable.
Besides that it's hard to share what tricks I know as it's second nature/intuition for me. If I happen to notice them I'll share it here🤗
Oh that's easy! I just ensure I have no emotions to harm!
<_< >_>
For me it was mostly 2 things:
- Tetris to help me decompress and relieve ruminating thoughts and stresses.
- 🌳🌳Walking in the park just to relax and enjoy nature🦋 has also been great for my mental health 😔👌🌸🌲🌲