this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2026
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Mentorship (europe.pub)
submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
 

Perhaps the cure to male loneliness is men stepping up for men. As a former lost boy myself, I certainly would have appreciated it.

Now I mentor the shit out of juniors in my professional life.

all 45 comments
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[–] brap@lemmy.world 144 points 4 days ago (2 children)

“Dad, how do I” for those wondering.

[–] FlihpFlorp@piefed.zip 48 points 4 days ago

I haven’t looked it up so idk the content but there’s also a “Mom, how do I”

[–] critical@reddthat.com 23 points 4 days ago

The real MVP

[–] HazardousBanjo@lemmy.world 84 points 4 days ago (1 children)

The unfortunate reality is men like him are totally casted aside in favor of predators who'd rather take advantage of them, like Trump, Andrew Tate, or the rest of the Epstein class and aspiring Epstein class.

Capitalism favors the morally bankrupt dark triad personality types, and we're living to see that on full display. I greatly fear for what young Gen Alpha and Gen Beta will become, growing up in a world ruled by and glorifying such evil men.

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 57 points 4 days ago

It's because a good con man focuses on saying what people want to hear whenever possible. Makes them easy to manipulate.

Someone who actually wants to help you will tell you things that are hard to hear. Inconvenient truths. Sometimes we are not ready to hear them or accept them, and that's where the struggle is. It's the same as the concept of tough love in parenting (which for the record does not mean beating your children).

[–] HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.world 32 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's like Mr.Rodgers said. Look for the helpers.

[–] orbitz@lemmy.ca 7 points 4 days ago

He knew what the best people were made from. Kindness, understanding and compassion. If only that was a standard goal everywhere, maybe in a generation we could have some real progress.

Imagine an accepting world where it was okay to be you even if different but everyone accepted you regardless cause they wanted to see the best you. A silly dream to think of but one can hope.

[–] Digestive_Biscuit@feddit.uk 24 points 4 days ago (2 children)

My dad didn't teach me anything like this. He did, though, hand me down used items like an electric razor because he got a new one. He was a giant prick, but I don't think he was trying to be a shit dad, he just was! (And I'm gobsmacked how people do stuff like this without realising their consequences to other people). I now get to be the opposite now I'm a dad with a son.

[–] Baggie@lemmy.zip 15 points 4 days ago

Before we had the recent shift towards purposeful retraining of our own behaviours in popular culture, a lot of our parents were just working exclusively with what they were given, it's how they were trained to behave.

It's tragic really. My own dad was mildly absent because his dad left when he was maybe 3. My mum beat my sister and I because that's what her parents did to her.

It doesn't make it better, it doesn't excuse it. For my part, it makes me realise how this stuff happens, and why it's so important to examine your learned behaviours, and try your very hardest not to be those awful things that were forced on you.

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago

Congrats! (On that last sentence, not the giant prick dad thing)

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 26 points 4 days ago (2 children)

For whatever reason, my parents never explicitly taught me how to floss. Now that my mother is elderly and needs help, I had the opportunity to observe her floss, and she did the most bizarre thing.

Rather than cut off a long length of floss before flossing, she held the container of floss in one hand and then flossed using only the little bit of floss needed at the time, kept pulling it out as she needed more, and then cut off the floss after flossing.

I couldn't decide if she was crazy or a genius, so I tried it myself. I still ended up using about the same amount of floss, but I think her method would be superior in the case where the floss broke during flossing. Otherwise, it's more of a hassle, so I don't do it. But I think if I was just used to flossing that way, it would have no downsides.

[–] Xyphius@lemmy.ca 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

When I turned 35 years old, I worked up enough courage to ask my dentist how to floss

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 5 points 4 days ago

I only looked it up on the internet after observing my mother.

I admit that I wasn't exactly doing it perfectly, but I had gotten close from observing how the hygienist flossed me during my cleanings.

[–] okmko@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

My mother came up with the most creative way to floss because I hated how it acts like a tourniquet on your fingers. You take the floss and tie it into a circle. It blew my little child's mind at the time.

And my father still doesn't floss to this day.

[–] BillyClark@piefed.social 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You made me think about how does a dental hygienist deal with tourniquet fingers all day, and I suspect that they have a way around it.

I don't know whether this is the correct solution, but I can think of two ways that they hold the floss differently to me. First, they wear gloves, which might protect against damage and provide more grip. Second, they tend to spiral the floss down their fingers, rather than create a complete circle of floss.

Maybe one of those things is an alternate solution. I'll probably give the spiral thing a go, but I'm probably not going to start wearing gloves to floss.

[–] okmko@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Oh I never noticed the spiral down the finger difference. Yeah that would spread the pressure over a large area.

I've been flossing with the circle for so long I find it the most comfortable and economic way of doing it by now.

[–] Suavevillain@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

One of the biggest issues for young men is the lack of mentorship and role models. It is cool to see someone pass some life skills.

[–] VinnyDaCat@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

As I've grown older I have felt regret about not stepping into a mentor role like this. I genuinely don't think I'm the person to do it, nor do I consider myself capable.

[–] Dayroom7485@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Aww, no reason to regret being who you are 🤗 good for you that you know your weaknesses and who you are, takes a lot to do so!

[–] VinnyDaCat@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

I'm not sure about that. In general I do feel as if I don't contribute nearly enough to society in order to make it a better place.

[–] U7826391786239@piefed.zip 19 points 4 days ago (5 children)

it's a noble cause, 100%.

but no one should be encouraging anyone to blow $18 on bullshit gillette, or whatever, refillable shaving cartriges. actually it was $18 the last time i bought a 5-pack, that was in the 90s. i don't even want to know how much they cost now.

do yourself a solid and switch to safety razors. i got a handle ~9 years ago for like 10 bucks, and spent maybe $30 on 300 blades. actually 600, since they're double sided. granted, i shave every other day, and never on weekends or during winter, but one blade will last about 3-4 weeks

please take the "you need 5 blades on your razor...unless you're not a REAL man" propaganda and throw it out the window

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I also shave with a safety razor. Figuring out my setup was a long and painful process to be honest. I'm not sure I would do it again. Now that I'm set I up golden.

Gillette permasharps, a Mekur 38 and Creamo cream is what does the trick for me. If anyone is staying out though I would recommend Vokshod blades - they are really consistent and forgiving

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

x2 for safety razor gang!

So, so much cheaper going forward, once you figure out something that works for you.

And it's better for the environment in many small ways!

Just gotta set up a little safety box to put dull blades in, which can literally just be a mason jar or even a damn cleaned used can of soup, with a duct tape cover with a slit in it.

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Why do people keep saying "once you find something that works"

I bought a safety razor and an assortment of like 50 different types of blades. Maybe 2 our of the 200+ blades have been incompatible and impossibly not to cut myself with.

I am quite literally still working my way through the box I bought a decade ago.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Why do people keep saying “once you find something that works”

Yeah, this kind of thing is what I think subconsciously prevented me from getting a safety razor for years. The wetshave sub on reddit has tons of posts like "I used emu fat extract soap with my hog bristle sterling XCo 9000 brush today after preheating my skin to the optimal 99.4 degree temperature (confirmed with a laser thermometer) and shaved with the jewel-encrusted limited edition sex panther cage free Blade Blaster^TM^".

I'm sure if you have sensitive skin you might need to make certain adjustments, but I got the cheapest safety razor I could find online and a pack of 100 blades for like 10 bucks, and use it exactly like I used those stupid 5 blade ripoffs with no issues at all.

[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Laser and electrolysis also work! 😂

[–] PlungeButter@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Seconded. I bought a Merkur handle, 25 blades and some soap about 15-18 years ago. Since then I've bought maybe 3 more soaps and a pack of 100 more blades. I probably get through moisturizer faster than I get through any of my other shaving stuff.

Shaving is basically free if you use a safety razor. It makes me wonder what other basic necessities stolen by capitalism are actually easily reclaimed.

[–] U7826391786239@piefed.zip 3 points 4 days ago (2 children)

shaving cream. you think it's necessary because you use it every time, and if you were to not use it all of a sudden, your face would be shredded

that's what every "skin care" product does--some immediate effect ("cooling!" "moisturizing!" "fortifying!" etc.) followed by your skin saying "ok, i don't need to produce oils or any other thing that i've been doing for millions of years, because i'm already slathered with it."

so you use skin lotion = after it evaporates, your skin is dryer than it would have been had you not used any lotion. i know sooooo many people who can't stop complaining about their dry skin even though they basically drench themselves in lotion all day. that's by design, to sell you lotion you never actually needed

[–] starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 days ago

There are some recommended by dermatologists like lac hydrin. I have chronic dry skin and whenever I actually decide to use it my skin gets noticeably better even when I'm barely using it.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

shaving cream. you think it’s necessary because you use it every time, and if you were to not use it all of a sudden, your face would be shredded

You shave with just water alone? I've done that a couple times in the past and it's not a pleasant experience, and I'm far from having sensitive skin.

[–] U7826391786239@piefed.zip 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

i pretend i'm in ancient times before they invented shaving cream. or safety razors for that matter. or mirrors. everything i use is a luxury

but seriously, i'll use the cream if i skip 3 days of shaving--so mondays in other words. otherwise the stubble is so short that water works fine and shaving takes half the time. one can of cream lasts about a year and a half

Amen, I grabbed a Henson razor handle that presets the blade angle and depth. It's more expensive than a normal safety razor handle, but my hands aren't steady enough to use a normal handle. Either way it takes normal razor blades. I got 200 Feather blades for $50 a couple of years ago and I'm not even halfway through.

All that being said I keep a Harry's handle and cartridges in my travel bag because it's just easier to get through TSA

[–] Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 days ago

IDK, I use a cheap razor for months as I'm very light haired so...

Also, baby steps!

[–] strop@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 days ago

Shaving ain't it, dawg

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 4 days ago

Goddamn right.

Don't pass on the family curse, be the cure to what causes it.

A good person does what they can to spread goodness in the world, not because they expect or desire a reward, but because it is right.

[–] Cherry@piefed.social 1 points 3 days ago

Its about different attitude, everyone has the chance to step up; but wallowing or taking a selfish attitude seems to prevail. Why teach others when I can hustle for self interest and ego?

Influence for an online market could have been great but monetization made it a cancer.