Seagal's wikipedia page reads like he's in the running for biggest shitbag actor award.
this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2026
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Seagal’s wikipedia page reads like he’s in the running for biggest shitbag actor award.
Emphasis added for clarity.
Hey man, he sometimes stands up in his latest movies.
SFX have gotten so good that you can barely hear the grunting.
Wouldn't even have to use SFX to be convincing. Just dump a few hundred pounds of dog shit on a little trolley, put a stupid toupee on top, and wheel it around slowly on some rope. Nobody would tell the difference.
I'm trying to imagine this, but my mind keeps showing me Steven Seagal...
They really are good at painting out wire work in movies these days.
I hope that's not the case. One example in this video someone posted the other day, he's doing a sex scene sat down and fully clothed. He's basically a marionette at this point.
VFX at its limits
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Seagal’s wikipedia page reads like he’s in the ~~running~~ [slow shuffling walk] for biggest shitbag actor award.
Corrected method of movement.
Seagal’s wikipedia page reads like he’s in the slow shuffling walk for biggest shitbag "actor" award.
Have you seen him lately? He hasn’t run for anything in a long time. It’s actually funny if you watch his later movies, he’s mostly sitting down through the whole thing.
What the hell happened to him? Wasn't he like a martial arts guy for real in the 80s?
He was never as great a martial artist as he thought he was (just ask Gene LeBell), but he at least used to be... you know... mobile.
He got old. And soft. And round.
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Behind the bastards (podcast) had a good two part episode on him.
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How has this rancid bratwurst not ended up in the Trump administration by this point?
Maybe he doesn't like kids 🤷♀️
He's too busy attending Putin's parades, which is something he literally does
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Hey I'm going you need you to be more respectful of bratwursts here.
Every time you think this timeline can't get any more nonsensical and inane, it throws a "Steven Seagal is a gun runner for Russia" curve ball at you.
So why isn't he in the Trump cabinet?
His ego didn't fit through the door.
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My first aikido masters were former students of Sensei Fat. They refused to speak of it. He must have been a real piece of work, even then.
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Anyone got a link to that video where he's fighting and older, but all of his opponents are falling down with barely any effort? It wasn't a movie but a dojo setting from what I remember.
No, the one I remember seeing he's all fat and bloated and stationary in a white gui. Opponents are running at him and he's barely doing anything, but the people running at him are obviously taking a fall. Maybe I imagined it all.
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Top comment lol:
Unfortunately, people don't voluntarily flip over on the real world.
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What the hell is going on with his hair?
It's fake as fuck and he decided to go for the lupin the third look.
It's 3D printed
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Why would Seagal need weapons?
To defend the VantaBlack he's spraying on his head
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The OG gravey seal.
Imagine being such a shitty dictator that you have to hang out with the likes of 2020s Steve Seagal 😂
Why can't we (as in civil society) drone bomb steven seagal?
This is hands down the best thing Seagal has ever been in.
Well, I wasn't expecting to watch a man build a diorama today! That's amazing.
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The traitor and sack of shit should be on the frontlines.
Do we know the status of Steven Seagal's nuclear program?
I've heard he's weeks away from having a nuclear bomb.
Fat vampire
Why would Putin care about this guy at all? Wouldn't it be worse for his image?
The US has a long and storied history of producing high profile weirdos that get trapped in a moment of international policy, like a mosquito in amber, and just keep hanging out with a foreign government we re-designated as The Enemy decades ago.
Seagal has Putin. Dennis Rodman was tight with Kim Jung il. Johnny Depp is good friends with Mohammad bin Salman. Gal Gadot is a perennial Netanyahu gadfly. Rob Schneider campaigned for Victor Orban. Oliver Stone and Robert Redford still rep Fidel Castro.
If you go into the back pages of US History, you'll find moments when US officials attempted a thaw or brokered some kind of cooperative pact with a modern enemy nation. And typically, the State Department would send along an affable oaf or enthusiastic wanna-be celeb ambassador to make nice with the foreign head of state.
And then US policy changes, but the celebs don't get the memo.
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