this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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[–] shininghero@pawb.social 50 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Oh nooo, I'll have pass time by...
Read the ingredients on the shampoo bottle!

THE HORROR!!! THE SODIUM LAURETH SULFATE INFUSED HORROR!!!

[–] StarvingMartist@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

That's the old school phone, if you were lucky your mom bought some magazines and now you can read about how to best plant your herb garden before spring, it's fall btw

Reader's digest. My parents kept them in the bathroom.

[–] stupe@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's why I keep a book by the toilet.

[–] Eyedust@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

I have one of the old Ripley's Believe It or Not books by mine. It's wild how many things in there that amazed people back in the day aren't really that amazing or unbelievable anymore. The internet has made the world a pretty jaded place.

[–] auraithx@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

On average, it takes most mammals, including humans, about 12 seconds to have a bowel movement.

Why tf are you having to pass time?

[–] xylol@leminal.space 3 points 2 months ago

To pass log

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

I guess I'm above average!

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 28 points 2 months ago

That's called "raw dogging". Am I using it right?

[–] nebulaone@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It goes it goes it goes it goes it goes it goes it goes it goes

[–] PaulBunyan@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Bought this LP for $30 in 2012. Greatest investment I’ve ever made.

[–] DasAlbatross@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] nebulaone@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

GUILLOTINE!

I miss them so much

[–] daw@feddit.org 10 points 2 months ago
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hope you got a bottle of Dr. Bronners in there.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

Moral ABCs never disappoint.

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 months ago

I kind of miss the magazine that only gets read in the bathroom.

[–] kindenough@kbin.earth 6 points 2 months ago

Why? I am done in five seconds. Must be all the olive oil. Takes longer to wipe…

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

Nothing is more haunting than the sound of introspection while pooping.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 5 points 2 months ago
[–] morgunkorn@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 months ago

back in my days, i read the label at the back of the shampoo bottle or the descaling cleaning spray

[–] kruhmaster@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

Bathroom Reader made a fortune off of this idea.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

that's why i keep two books in the bathroom. True Facts That Sound Like Bullshit by Shane Carley, and Brief Answers to Big Questions by Stephen Hawking. Perfect for reading ~10-20min at a time

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Plan b: Can you still reach the bottle of shampoo?

[–] fungalfelidae5@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

i love reading random shampoo bottles

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

People who use their phone on the toilet are gross to me. I put in wireless earbuds and listen to a podcast. Preferably one without ads so I don’t have to touch them until after I’ve washed my hands.

[–] Dicska@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Non-dominant hand has entered the game.

[–] cRazi_man 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's even worse when I go in prepared. I have young kids who will barge in and take my device while I'm on the throne. Now I've got to start taking in 2 devices so I still have something after losing one.

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] cRazi_man 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Bathrooms have privacy locks, not security locks. They can be opened from the outside if someone tries, and my kids have little fingers that can open the latch from outside without any additional equipment.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 months ago

Then add a security lock you can close from the inside.

Hang it at the top of the door so it can't be used by children.

Or just discipline your children to not barge into occupied bathrooms.

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

You have that at home? We just have a normal door with a normal lock.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

The pure luxury!

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