Fucking hell.

That's where we're all living now.

I'm glad my TV is 13 years old and stupid as fuck.

I'm glad I cancelled Xfinity fiber the same day it was installed because I discovered they wouldn't let me run my own hardware.

I'm glad I switched to Linux a couple of years ago.

I'm glad my car is a 2006 model.

But, I know I can't repair the dyke[sic] with my finger.