this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2024
0 points (NaN% liked)

Ask Lemmy

31053 readers
2201 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Bluetreefrog@lemmy.world
TheSaneWriter@lemm.ee
Asudox@lemmy.world
lemmy_bot@lemmy.world
beefbaby182@lemmy.world
ModeratorCan@lemmy.world
neidu3@sh.itjust.works
KaneLivesInDeath@lemmy.world
asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev
candyman337@lemmy.world
candyman337@sh.itjust.works
0
How would you process the fact that a new friend of yours is a cop? (USA) (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 months ago by LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
8 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

One of my new friends is/was a cop. Just found out about it. I genuinely believe ACAB, and this news has me conflicted because my new friend seems really cool and super nice. I don't know him super well yet, though. He's a big part of this new friend group and I don't know how to process this and how to deal with the fact he's a cop.

I don't want to look past the fact he's a cop, but I want to stay his friend and stay in this friend group.

Any advice for dealing with this shit?

I can't talk to my therapist about it until Thursday.

top 8 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] NutinButNet@hilariouschaos.com 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This is one of many problems with “ACAB” because not every cop is one way or the other.

Reality is that a functioning society needs police officers. It sounds like you hit it off with this person and they have some good qualities that you like.

How do you expect the police to change if we don’t get involved? Getting rid of the police entirely is not a solution. But getting in and making changes from the inside is a valid way to make things better.

Why are you wanting to create an echo chamber for yourself? Why don’t you expose yourself to others and other ideas that are different than yours? What’s the harm there? Are you scared you won’t be able to change his mind or that his ideas might make some sense to you?

[–] greedytacothief@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

I have a couple of friends in law enforcement (NYPD & state Police). They tend to be best cops around, one of them is being sent to be a trainer so he can get some bigger promotions.

You got to ask yourself and maybe them if they are a good person. All cops are bad because of what the system does to them. But who they are in spite of what that system is doing says more about who they are as a person.

Chances are they'll have edgy jokes, but you've been on the Internet long enough to end up here, so I'm sure you can navigate that.

Remember conservatives hate liberal arts colleges because people who are exposed to diversity are more tolerant of it.

[–] Free_Opinions@feddit.uk 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I genuinely believe ACAB, and this news has me conflicted because my new friend seems really cool and super nice.

What you’re experiencing is cognitive dissonance. New information is clashing with your prior beliefs, leaving you with a choice: either update your beliefs or double down and lie to yourself even harder.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The thing is: which belief is the lie? Can cops not be bastards? Or is this guy not as nice as he appears to be?

[–] Free_Opinions@feddit.uk 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That all cops are bastards.

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Oh yeah? You gonna open up to a cop? You gonna talk to him about stuff, maybe? You know, about that thing? What's he gonna do? Is he gonna write it down later? What if he finds out about your association with a minority? Is he gonna arrest your friend because of something you let slip? Does he hide when his friends and family commit crimes? Can you trust a friend like that?

Because the fact he chose a bastard job makes him a bastard.

[–] Free_Opinions@feddit.uk 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Where I live, there’s a strict screening process to become a cop. It requires a three-year education, and you need a college degree just to apply. There are far more applicants than available spots, so even many good candidates don’t make it in. Trust in the police is generally quite high among the population, they’re respected, and every time a firearm is used for example, it’s investigated thoroughly. Officers do face legal consequences when malpractice is discovered.

So, yeah, I’d hang out with a cop and talk to them about the same stuff I’d discuss with anyone else.

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world -1 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Oooooh, so your opinion is irrelevant everywhere else. Have fun with the leopards. I'm sure they won't eat your face.