In the beginning, the universe was created. This made many people very angry, and is widely considered to be a bad move.
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dart board;; science bs
rule #1: be kind

By some definition, anything that allows measuring time is a clock. It might be a weird clock, but clock still.
So they are not actually measuring time. If you look at the actual article (which I linked in another comment), what they did is experimentally assign a number to the different states of their system just based on that state, but in such a way that these numbers naturally order the states. Then they did the math to predict how their system behaves using this number as if it were time, and those predictions match what they experimentally observed.
The point is that in this experiment the "time" is an emergent property of the system, and not something presumed. So this a stepping stone towards determining if the real time that we all experience is a similar emergent phenomenon, or at least helps other physicists investigate this possibility.
The "mini-universe" stuff is pop-sci BS.
Sounds like a lamport clock or logical clock. Interesting to see it used outside of computer science.
Yes, that seems like rough analogy at least

These are words that are possible to put together in a headline, but don't actually make any sense.
If you want to make a clock, you must first invent the universe.
Terry Pratchett stuff
Builds a cage. Shakes it, things inside rattle. Leaves it be, things inside do not rattle.
What am I missing? ELI5
So here is the actual article and not the pop-sci woo: https://journals.aps.org/prresearch/abstract/10.1103/1h9j-df4k
What's interesting to me from the abstract is the fact that they experimentally construct an ordered parameter, derive an effective Schroedinger equation that uses this parameter as if it were time, and then show that this equation actually does properly describe the experimentally observed evolution of the system.
ultracold gases have observed bubble nucleation and Schwinger-like pair production during controlled false vacuum decay
That is an issue if someone figures out how to do actual vacuum decay! Rather than simulate it in ultracold gasses.